Thursday, February 04, 2016

Check In

Be careful what you wish for. In yesterdays post I talked about wanting to break the bad habit of getting home at 8 or 9 and crawling right into bed.   I broke that habit.   I was out with Jason last night and while I was out I received a message that some artwork was waiting for me.  I am designing a new album cover for a guy.  That means that when I got home I had a few hours of work...because I had NOTHING.  I was starting from scratch.    I actually made it to bed about midnight.  I sent the ideas to the client, sent him a text to let him to know to look and went to bed. He was working an overnight shift at his job...so by the time I woke up at 5:30 he had revisions in my email box.  I worked from 5:30 until 7:30, showered and headed to the store before work.   By the time I got to work there were some more revisions.  This guy moves FAST.  (He has told me not to worry about getting things done immediately...but he is appreciative that I am moving this way)  The last CD I did I would make revisions and not hear anything back for DAYS...weeks even.

So I guess circumstances helped me break that habit last night.  Who knows what will help me tonight.   Although I should be home after work tonight so I won't be getting home so close to bedtime making the bed more tempting!  

That said....I skipped my morning run as I was working on this project. (hey, I just put brakes and rotors on my car....the income from this project will help immensely in covering that repair!)

My eating last night...well not the greatest.    Today thus far...spot on!!!!! 

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Weekly Weigh In

Well, today was my official weigh in.   232.4  So I am down a bit from last week.   Precious little....but I'll take it.  One week left of this Love Bites Challenge.  Right now I am showing down 1.6 pounds in this challenge (I was 234 at the beginning of this/end of the last challenge).  That's better than nothing and WAY better than a gain.

  There is NO WAY that I will make my goal of 220.0 by next Wednesday.  I'm OK with that.  I'm not HAPPY with myself, but I'm ok with it.   I'm thinking that it would be a victory if I can somehow pull out a 230.0 for this weigh in...giving me a 4 pound loss...and 2.4 pounds in this next week (which is doable.)  Either way...I'm fine with whatever happens this week as long as I actually work toward the goal!

Yesterday I went to the gym and ran just shy of 3 miles.  My foot didn't fair well on that run.  In fairness, it was bothering me before I began.  I know that after the snow hike on Sunday that it was tender, so I'm assuming that the icky feeling after the run yesterday was because of that.    Honestly, the snowy hike is motivating me.   I as pleasantly surprised to realize that yes I was moving my body and it was a workout but I was not sore and achy from using the muscles.  Yay me!  I was with an avid hiker and ended up feeling better when it was over.  (go figure)   So in terms of physical wellness, I know that my running and zumba (we won't even talk about me losing that....but I do have to hit up a class at the gym soon!) have kept me in somewhat decent shape.  I don't want to lose that and would actually prefer to build upon that.  But once again, it comes down to gear.   I was wearing jeans to hike in the snow....not the wisest hiking clothing.  My pants were soaked up to my thighs.  My companion was wearing hiking water resistant/quick drying pants and he was dry as all get out.  Guess I need to invest in something similar for use in hiking if I plan on doing it much more.  (I also have had some similar issues with sweat...jeans just soak up the sweat and become nasty  and wet!)   And that is the crux of the matter.  They are not cheap.....and  I hate to spend the money on pants that I HOPE to have shrunk out of within a few months!   Yes....we talked about it on Sunday and I will buy them on the tight side so that I can just have a baggy pair that is still usable.  But still.....I'm on the cusp of being able to buy these pants at a 'regular store'.....it would be NICE to be able to buy them at a 'regular' store and maybe to be able to not have to replace them in a few months. (Although that will make some person that shops at my local goodwill a happy camper when I drop off a bag of clothes that are too big for me!!!)    Talk about motivation?

I was able to maintain a good balance in my eating yesterday.  I was proud of myself.  I knew that I would be having cake and ice cream last night to celebrate my niece and nephews birthdays so I ate accordingly throughout the day.  And guess what? I kept my calories not exactly spot on...but really close!   One day of success under my belt.  Next day coming up!    I will work to build upon this success!!!

Meanwhile, I have to break a really bad habit.   What is that bad habit?  Last night I got home at 8:30 and instead of settling in and actually DOING something; I have instead put on my pajamas and headed to bed.  I don't go to sleep immediately....I lay in bed and read or play mindless games on my ipad.   I think part of it is because it's cold outside (cool in the basement where I reside) and it just makes more sense to curl up under the blankets and get toasty warm there versus settle in on the chair or couch...get warm there and then have to move to the cold bed.   But it's KILLING my time.   What could I be doing?   Anything really.   I could be playing the piano, surfing the internet, writing, watching tv, something productive!!!!   I could be exercising!   I have a ton of videos!  

We shall see!!!!!!!



Tuesday, February 02, 2016

Purchased Peace


I was reading a blog post about intuitive eatingthe other day.   The author was talking about the correlation between intuitive eating and weight loss and wanting to make peace with food.  I wrote my response to her post...a really convoluted affair for sure.  I know that intuitive eating works for some people.  I also know that intuitive eating is the goal that I want to be at when I reach my goal weight.  I will say that for me intuitive eating HAS to go hand in hand with some kind of check and balance system in place. (the numbers on the scales....a pair of skinny jeans that HAVE to fit otherwise there becomes a full out panic attack, etc) . 

For me intuitive eating and losing weight doesn't go hand in hand at this time.  I'm ok with that.  I'm still overweight so obviously there is something that isn't clicking in the brain and body.   This is fine with me.

But peace with my food.  Wow...there is the kicker.  I've often talked on my blog about missing the innocence of eating.  The innocence of not worrying about calories, fat, carbs or any number of other things.    And that is when I realized that I CAN have peace with my food.    I simply have to Purchase Peace!  

How do you purchase peace?    For me I purchase peace by earning the food through exercise.   Oh yes, my hike through deep snow the other day...that purchased me peace with what I chose to eat for dinner!   A good run in the morning gives me peace with my food for the day.   (I can still go way off track and ruin that peace...but I'm just  generally speaking here!)

My brother rides his bike...A LOT (crazy insane amounts of miles) and I've heard him on more than one occasion say "I can eat whatever I want because I rode 50, 60 or whatever miles today"   It's not that he is overindulging, he earned those calories.....he earned the peace.  The peace was purchased via those miles on his bike!

As soon as I read that first post about intuitive eating and peace my mind was formulating this post.  But first I wanted to catch up with my other blogs.  And I came upon Shelley's blog and it was just more 'peace'

She was writing an update on how she was doing with making better choices which was a goal that she had made for this year.  I read along and then came to a paragraph about the snacks and tasty treats at a bakery that they visit after running and how she doesn't count those tasty morsels when she is talking about making better choices....and she said this..  "those are bonus treats that come with running"    Ohhhhhh, so can I just go out on a limb and say that she "purchased peace" with a nice run?????

Yes, purchased peace is awesome...and let me tell you.  The food that you eat when you 'purchase the peace' tastes FANTASTIC!

I did make it to the gym this morning...and I 'purchased a bit of peace' with a few miles of running.   I will still have to be careful today, but if I am, I can enjoy ice cream and cake tonight to help celebrate my niece and nephews birthday!!!

I faced the scales this morning....almost the same as last week...and almost the same as right around Christmas...the beginning of the love bites challenge.  Not what I wanted but at least no gain!   I've got one week to show at least a teensy weensie little loss for the challenge!!



Monday, February 01, 2016

Trust your gear

Well, what do I say?    January was a trial run?????




I had grand plans for my Love Bites self challenge has not gone as planned.  Not at all.   In fairness, I haven't weighed myself since last Wednesday, but I can honestly say that I have NOT eaten right.  Ohhhhh  some days were not THAT bad.  Some days were positively horrible with french fries, tator tots, and all sorts of other fattening (but sadly tasty) foods.  Oh and there may have been a donut or two involved in the mix.  Yeah, I just fell off the rails!   

I have a week and two days until the Love Bites challenge is over.   My goal at this point is to try to hang onto the weight that I was at the end of the Saving Christmas Challenge.  My weight last week was right in that range...so hopefully it will be a simple maintain.  

What does that mean for me?  



I'm already gearing up for the Foolish Fat Against Fat challenge.    On February 10th, the last weigh in before Valentines day will start this next challenge.  7 weeks until April Fools.  The Triple F challenge.  I blew this last challenge but I'm soooo planning on rocking this one!  7 pounds...14 pounds is what I'm thinking!!!!

I had a busy and fun weekend.  I sadly had to work on Saturday morning, but was treated to a gorgeous sky on the way to work!


Jason and I spent some time in Old Town Winchester (Virginia) this weekend.



We did some hiking at the Third Winchester Battlefield Park.   That was interesting as in some areas we were walking on slick ever shifting slush and at at other points we were walking in 1-2 feet of snow.  It was definitely a workout!!!!  




It is also crazy to be hiking in 1-2 feet of snow and be stripping off clothes because you are hot.....I started the hike with a tee shirt, sweatshirt and a light jacket.  By the first mile or so I had taken off the jacket...and by the end of the hike I was down to the tee shirt.  Nope, definitely wasn't going to let myself get sweaty!   That is miserable in cooler weather!!!!   And yes, I was more successful than a few weeks ago when we had been out hiking  and it was either REALLY cold or just cool.  No worries....as soon as I got back to the car, I popped my sweatshirt back on to avoid getting chilled as my body temperature adjusted back to normal. I will also say that I gave my newest pair of hiking boots an amazing test and they passed with flying colors.  What test was that?  Well, I've had them out a few times as we have been hiking...and they have been through some muddy areas and some water puddles.   But that was more short periods of being dipped into wetness.  We hiked a few miles (my tracker showed about 4 miles) and for 90% of that time, my boots  were totally encased in snow.  My feet were dry and toasty the whole time!  (shows the beauty of good boots and wool socks!).  My pants.....well, I was wearing jeans which are notoriously horrible for hiking and they were a flared leg....and long.  They were wet at the bottom almost immediately and they just wicked the moisture upward the whole hike so that even though I had never been in snow up to my thighs, the jeans were wet above the knees.  We laughed that if we had hiked longer that they would have been wet the whole way to my waist!!!   (Yup, just add the parking lot at the trailhead for the Third Winchester as ANOTHER place that I've changed my clothes in a relatively public place...hahaha)  

We slowly made our way back home and ended up stopping at a few places just killing time and being together for longer!  





It was a good weekend.....and the icing on the cake?  We were active and it felt GOOD to get outside in the sunshine and surprising warmth!



Friday, January 29, 2016

No Brainer

It was dark.  It was cold.   There was frost on my windshield.  It was early!  

I laid in bed going back and forth.  Go to the gym?  Stay home in my comfy cozy bed?  Guilt over signing up for a more closer albeit expensive ($10 more a month...plus the start up fee) gym pulled me from my bed.   Yes, I went to the gym this morning.

I wasn't there any great length of time.  I went to use the treadmill.  I went to put in a few miles on my legs.  I didn't have grand plans to push it really far or hard.  I want to ease back into running.   By about mile two, my foot was starting to make it's presence known....not really painful, just aware.  I'm going to look at that as a victory as a few weeks ago I could only make it through the first mile before I became aware of my foot issue!

Don't cheer too much.  It was a brutal run.  It was more a run a half mile and then walk a half mile.  Treadmill running is for the pits and I always struggle to keep running the whole time!  Regardless of the walk run dealio, I am happy with what I did.

As I was doing my thing on the treadmill at the crack of dawn this morning, I had the thought.    I want to lose this weight.  I want it down to the core of my being.  Yet I struggled to get to the gym.   Really?   What do I expect?   Do I expect the weight to melt off  if I take a steamy hot shower?   Do I expect the weight to disappear while I'm sleeping?   Do I expect to lose weight while I'm shoveling movie theater popcorn that is smothered in butter into my mouth?    WHY?   Why do I insist on these bad habits and fight the good habits?   I know they are NOT what I need to be doing to get to my goals.....yet I resist!  

Seems kind of dumb to me!


I can't expect different results if I don't change my habits!  So the question really comes into play.....what is more important to me?  The results or the stupid habits that are slowly killing me?

Lets break this down......

The stupid habits....
** laying in bed and doing nothing versus going to the gym
**eating fattening food that tastes good 

Results.......
**being able to run without stopping
**cool clothes
**thin svelte body (or as thin as it's going to be)
**being able to hike, ride roller coasters, go sky diving, or whatever my heart desires without the fears and constraints of being overweight....the sky is the limit, not my weight
**not feeling sick, stuffed and bloated from the foods I eat

Seems such a no brainer to me!

Today is a new day!!!!!!  


Thursday, January 28, 2016

Singleminded

I made a decision that was a rough one for me.  A few months ago I joined Planet Fitness.  It seemed a good plan.  I thought I would have time before I went to work in the mornings...even if I decided to go to the gym and then go home to get ready.  I had my zumba class with Anita that I was paying for...so the lower cost was a good deal and I wasn't concerned about exercise classes because I had Anita.  I also had a neighbor/Aunt that was going to go with me. I went a few times...but it just has me criss-crossing back and forth across town(yeah, excuse) that just deters me in the morning when I have to be up and out the door by 5:30-6 at the latest in order to do the gym before work. (Have I mentioned how cold and dark it is at that hour???)   In the interim I lost my beloved Zumba class.  My Aunt has moved.  And Planet Fitness was just not working.  So on Wednesday when I left work, I headed there and cancelled my membership.   Within 24 hours I had secured a membership at Golds Gym.   I have been a member there on two different occasions.  I've never had a problem with Golds and have always cancelled the membership for other reasons that have nothing to do with my satisfaction with the gym.  This gym is about a mile from my house.  So that cuts 30 minutes out of the time needed to utilize the gym.  Awesome!  It is a bit more expensive...but with it being closer AND with the option to pick up a zumba class (and other classes), even if it isn't with my beloved Anita, I think I will be ok.

So I made that decision (even knowing that I would have to ante up the sign up fee and that would set me back a bit).  But I forgot to think about the odd noise my car had started intermittently making a day or two ago...I put it on my mental note to have it looked at.  Jason was in my car last night and heard it and was almost instantly convinced that my brakes were going bad (who knew there was such a thing as a "squealer tab' on brakes)  So bright and early this morning I was having my car checked (NO, I'm not messing with brakes...that's kinda necessary).  Yup, he had diagnosed the noise quite correctly.....so brake pads and rotors later and a nice bill......I'm done.  Isn't it fun being an adult??????

I recently read a book.  It was written by Keith Foskett and entitled Balancing on Blue: A Dromomaniac Hiking.  It is basically the story of a European who hikes the complete length of the Appalachian Trail.  It is a pretty good read.   Practical, insightful and just full of fun.  It is good enough that I am planning on reading his book chronicling his hike on the Pacific Crest Trail.   I would highly recommend the book for anyone that is interested in nature, health and just pushing themselves to the limit. (Of if you particularly liked Bill Bryson's book and subsequent movie "A Walk In the Woods" ....or Cheryl Strayed's book and subsequent movie "Wild")  This book is less of the 'bumbling hike that Bill Bryson attempted"  and a little less than the self discovery that Cheryl was looking for.  It is just a guy hiking, thinking, pondering and moving through a life that he doesn't quite understand unless he is lost in the woods!

What brought this book into the spotlight of my blog?   A passage in the book really stuck out at me!  This passage could easily be adjusted...take out 'hiking' and "trails' an instead insert 'weight loss' and 'Healthy lifestyles'  It is really the same!

"If you attempt a long distance hike, the chances are heavily stacked against you and there is a very real chance that you will fail. Most quit in the first month.  They were not as fit as they thought, new gear is chafing everywhere, red -raw blisters make walking excruciating or it's too cold, too hot, too dry or too wet, sometimes for days on end.  I always say push through that first month and if you come out on the other side, chances are you will be successful.  Above everything else, you have to be single minded and totally fixed on your goal to succeed.  If you are mentally strong, can persuade yourself that you're not in pain and can push another mile out, that your hunger and thirst are imaginary, that it really isn't the seventh straight day of being wet and the fact that you badly misjudged your food supply doesn't really matter, then you just may succeed."

Wow...isn't that an absolute parallel to weight loss? 

***The first month IS the hardest...and the time when people give up on weight loss efforts. (Think about the gym in January as compared to the gym in February).

*** We find out it isn't easy.  Our muscles will ache.  Our new 'equipment' isn't as cool and awesome.  

*** We have excuses....it's too hot, too dry, too wet  etc

*** Weight loss IS a study in being single minded in our efforts.  We have focus on it.  We have to say "who cares that I'm whatever....the end goal is out there!

***If we believe we can succeed...we can hike over 2000 miles over numerous mountains.....we can run a 5k, a 10k or even a half marathon....and we CAN lose weight!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

A Bump in the Road

I am soooo not impressed with the numbers on the scales.  NOT impressed at all.  Tomorrows official weigh in is NOT looking good.  I'm up a pound or two.   It's infuriating.   But just making me dig my heels and in. I'm telling myself that I CAN do this and that I WILL do it!

Running outside is a DEFINITE no go right now.  Half of the sidewalks are not cleared around the area....when they are cleared it is usually a narrow path.  The roads are still mostly single lane.  And that is going to keep me grounded for a bit.   Yes, I have a membership at Planet Fitness...but I am struggling with the bitter cold and now the possible icy mornings.....Yeah, that's not a valid excuse!

The good news?  I have been tracking EVERYTHING!   I'm not way off on my calories (well except for the weekend) so not I need to sit back and focus on changing the 'type' of calories I'm eating.....beef up the fruits and veggies.....and cut down the carbohydrates.  Good bye bread and pasta.   WAAAAAHH

The other thing?  I'm going to pound the water for the next few days. Maybe some of this weight things is water retention related.