Thursday, April 23, 2015

A victory none the less


Ok, so today hasn’t been a stellar day of eating.  I had a piece of cake for breakfast.  Yeah yeah yeah…. You read that right.  A piece of cake!  It was my fault.  I got up early and did a few things and hadn’t eaten breakfast…so it’s 10AM and I was hungry!  So then the food fest just continued in high fashion as I left for work and was running late and hadn’t eaten lunch yet.  I stopped at Burger King.  Seriously?  I don’t even like fast food!  Can I say Burger King chicken sandwich….and onion rings.  And ohhhhh I don’t want to say it…….but I will.   I indulged in a chocolate milkshake.  Seriously?  I don’t even like fast food!

 

Ok, can’t look back.  Only forward.  The damage is done.   The food is however tracked.  (Holy cow…that large milkshake was 980 calories…ON IT’S OWN!....that doesn’t include the sandwich and onion rings! All 1900 calories for that ONE meal…and that is with a diet coke…..if I would have had a regular it would have been well over 2000 calories for one meal.  HOLY COY!)  But I’m tracked and accounted for.

 

I have been doing good with exercise.  I have been staying active and have kept moving.  I am however taking today off.   I weeded and mulched my parents flower beds for about 4 hours yesterday and then followed it up with a session of step zumba.  Today my back is tender and extremely sensitive.  I have learned the hard way to stop and rest the back when I can because pushing myself and letting it get worse is not a valid option. (Been there done that…..not being able to pull up your own pants is NOT fun!)

 

So while my eating hasn’t been spot on this week; I HAVE tracked and I will consider that a victory. I have also curbed some of the indiscriminate snacking whilst at work. (That is a  real killer!) Baby steps….

And just for fun........Cheryl (coworker) and I being goofy during a mandatory (boring) training at work.  

Monday, April 20, 2015

Moving Right Along

I saw this saying on Facebook today and I fell in love with it.


I think I made it perfectly clear the other day that I've been having emotional melt downs over the fates that I have been handed....the cards I've been dealt.  I am being forced to communicate with my ex....which is ok.  I don't want an enemy and if we can eventually end up friends, that's fine.  But right now I don't want to have to deal with it.  For goodness sake dude, let me heal some before you talk to me about your new girlfriend.  Let me move on a bit and recover.   But that is not the case.  He is a customer where I work....so I am confronted with him frequently and whether he is doing it on purpose or is just obtuse and doesn't realize it....it stings.    Last week the sting got to much.  I melted down and I didn't pick myself back up.  I ate away my troubles.  Of course the troubles didn't go away.    

So this week I am allowing my meltdowns....but I'm staying focused on where I am going......to THIN-VILLE!

I didn't eat perfectly today.  I did however track it all!   Yes, I had leftover pizza for breakfast!  Don't be a hater!  It was tasty!!! Hey, at least it was after I was out and completed a run!   And why yes, I did have a Reece's Cup at work....but it was at least shortly before I went to Step/Toning Zumba! 
Yes, calories tracked and I ran this morning (just shy of two miles) and I did zumba this evening.  Shazaam!  

I may also have forgotten my lunch at home and had to resort to eating at the local eating establishment (I work in a small town...the options are limited.....convenience store food!) 

Not a perfect day (needed more fruits and veggies) but all in all a pretty good day.  Because while I didn't eat perfectly.....I am in control and cognizant!

Got a bit emotional this afternoon.....but tamped it down.  Ok ok ok, I was emotional until I got to zumba and then I kinda forgot to be emotional as I stomped out the feelings.  So I didn't feed my emotions today!    I zumba'd my emotions!  YAY  Another victory!

And just because people keep telling me to just 'get over it' and to 'forget about it all' and 'he is showing his true colors"  this statement is for them.   And yes, I know it's because people don't know what to say to me as I deal with my heartbreak, loneliness and pain at having all of my dreams, hopes and love shattered. And I am glad for their support......TOTALLY glad.  But still...this is perfect and fits my mood during my meltdowns!


Sunday, April 19, 2015

Sunburn City

Last Monday I took the day off from work.....yes, I stayed 'home' sick.  It was a mental health day.  My friend Paula and I went into DC for the day.   The Cherry Blossoms were in full bloom and they were absolutely gorgeous!!!!!!!!!   We walked well over 10 miles and it felt great!


UP close and personal with the Cherry Blossoms


  I did end up with a bit of a sunburn.....so I had to tell my co-workers that I was just feverish!  ha ha ha.  They laughed because they knew it was a day for me to get away and decompress.....or rather try to decompress.

The Weather was GORGEOUS!  Perfect day to hit up all sorts of the outdoor monuments.  We hit up The Vietnam Memorial, The Korean War Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, Haines Point, Washington Monument, The DC War Memorial, The Signers of the Declaration of Independence Memorial, And I am sure some more!

Paula and I
Cherry Blossoms and Moi

 I went back to work on Tuesday and it was just a rough week.  I'm not sure why my emotions were all over the place...but they were.  Just brutal.   And yes, I ate.  I ate like a pig.  GAH!  Why do I do it to myself??????

Friday I came to a conclusion.  I have to do something.  I'm miserable with my weight and I'm just not happy.  My inclination is to go back to Weight Watchers.  Seriously, the accountability, the meetings, the support worked for me before.  But I am tight on money (singlehood is rough on my paycheck).  I hate to spend the money.   SO I decided that I need to track my food.  I also need to actually work at it. If I am tracking and or lose (either/or) each week I will put money into my 'play fund account.....vacation money!)  This way the money is still staying with ME....and I have motivation.  If it doesn' work,  I start weight watchers!

Saturday came and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and my friend Paula got me up and moving.   This time we hiked up to Maryland Heights.  It's a gorgeous overlook.  Yes, overlook....which means walking up hill for an hour and twenty minutes!  I'm a big girl.  The last time I went up to Maryland Heights I was at my lowest weight and it was still a hard climb but not brutal.  My current weight.....BRUTAL!  But I did it!    I also tracked my food all day! (even though the hike up and back down the mountain netted me just under 2000 earned calories!)


Harpers Ferry down below!



We felt so awesome after our hike on Saturday that we decided to repeat it (with something a little less strenuous though!)   So we headed down to Great Falls, on the Potomac, Maryland side.  We hiked on the canal....and we went out to the falls.  The lack of mountains didn't net us as many calories, but it did earn me 1000 calories. 
Potomac River behind and below me (probably 50 feet below where I was standing)

A gorge where the water was rushing through

I may or may not have a another sunburn upon my return to work.  

I am in the process of rebuilding my life.  It hit me today.  I need to make it an active lifestyle.  I don't want my new lifestyle sitting on a couch.  I want to be up and moving!!!!!

I want it to be a THIN lifestyle!

I don' know how the emotions will play out this upcoming week...but I can hope that they are more calm!!!

So day two of my eating has been tracked.   I haven't eaten the 'best'   I did have Sweet Frog Yogurt after the Mountain yesterday.  (Hey, it was hot!...and I got lowfat and piled on the fresh strawberries!).   I also went out last night and had pizza.  HA HA HA  Today I did have a piece of cheesecake for our late lunch.....so late that dinner didn't happen. (I called the cheesecake the dinner).   Even with those things I didn't eat even half of my exercise calories.  And I feel satisfied!

So here I go!

Monday, April 06, 2015

Excuses

Today would have been my 13th wedding anniversary.  

My ex made sure I knew he was going away for a few days with his new girlfriend.  (All dressed up in clothes he wouldn't wear for me because they were uncomfortable....)

I've eaten a crapload of food today.   

Think there is a correlation?  

You know, I don't want the loser (I have more colorful names for him too) back.  But I mourn the loss of dreams.  I mourn the loss of what was supposed to be.  I mourn the sadness.   

So I'm allowing myself the candy. (And cookie, and the banana split flurry....)  Today.  But this has to end.  He is not worth eating myself back up to an astronomical weight!!!!!!


Thursday, April 02, 2015

Not what I wanted

Last weekend was the Cooper River Bridge 10K in Charleston, SC.  I registered for this race back in December (it had been planned through since summer).   I just didn't train for it....so a few weeks back I started a mad dash to be ready to run this 10k.  I actually did it.  Two weeks before the run I was able to complete a 5.5 mile run.  It was slow but I did it.  Two days later, I twisted my ankle in a step zumba class and thus began the pain in my ankle.

I was determined to still do this 10k.....as I had already paid for the run and the hotel.   I rested the foot and hoped for the best.

Pre-race
On the Bridge
The bridge that I crossed is on the backdrop
It was cold...being the northern girl that I am I braved it.....my friend Sue cut holes in socks o use as gloves.
When the day came I made an executive decision.  I dropped back into a walkers corral with my friend and decided to walk it.   Totally not what I wanted.  Absolutely disappointing.  100% the best decision for me.      Watch out Cooper River Bridge Run....I WILL run you sooner or later!

It was still fun to walk this race.

Sooooooo.......this was my first 'huge' race experience.  The cap the registration at 40,000 participants.    I knew it was big but I really didn't think about the scope of soooo many people.

People as far as the eye could see



So here is my Charleston, SC weekend in pictures.

Food:   SOOO Delicious....


Sight Seeing:

Old Churches

Historic Roads (and me)

Old Graveyards

Old theaters 

City Market








Old Houses



Fort Sumter


Sunday, March 15, 2015

A busy Day

So I have been trying to accept and move on.........

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Today was busy.  I woke up and why yes....I did get my run in!  5 miles of running and if I include my warm up walk and my cool down walk I knocked out 5.5 miles.  Not bad.   I know when I was running higher miles before that about mile 4 or 5 my knee would start to bother me.  It did again today.  And as for this evening?  OUCH, the arthritis is kicking!  (wow look at those chapped lips!)

After my run I relaxed a bit at the house and then went to my nieces gymnastic meet.  
Afterward I stayed hom and watched  movie and then went out for a bite to eat with my parents.  Now I'm home....finishing laundry and getting ready to watch the walking dead!





Saturday, March 14, 2015

A smidge of this and a smidge of that

Whoopie Pies.... I got home from work and there were four red velvet whoopie pies laying on the dining room table.   I knew that they were leftover from the market where my mother sells baked goods (yes, is it any wonder I've gained weight since living here with my parents???).  I knew it was something I could eat...yet I held off.  I ignored that whoopie pie for 3 hours!   Yes, I did!    And then....well......  It was DELICIOUS!    GRRRRR

Thursday and Friday were good running paraphernalia days for me.   Earlier this week I ordered a Running Buddy from Amazon.  I've been seeing the advertisements and I checked out the reviews and they look to be pretty good.  I HATE running with an arm band.  In the winter I just tuck my phone in my pocket of my sweatshirt...but what do you do in the summer?  Tuck your phone in your bra?   Carry it?   Wear a dreaded armband?   So I saw these little pocket thingies.  They have a flap and the flap goes on the inside of your pants and the pocket goes on the outside  It is kept in place by two strong magnets.  Hmmmm.  I bite and bought one.  (Ohhh and did I mention that it's big enough for my iphone 6plus??? Well it is!)  It came in the mail on Thursday.  Then last night I ended up running into Walmart with a friend.   I couldn't resist the bright pink pants!   From there it was an easy leap to buy the 'no slip headband'  (ha no slip...we shall see about that..headbands ALWAYS slip on me...I must have a misshapen head or something!).   So I will be decked out in new gear tomorrow when I attempt a 5 mile run. 



I am starting to think about what I will wear for my 10 mile run.  Maybe my new pants.  hmmm    Hot pink sounds fun anytime right???  Hat or non slip headband is a big question...probably hat.....hmmmm pink hats...I have my Chicago (the band) breast cancer awareness hat...or my pink hershey kiss hat......decisions decisions.  Oh goodie...maybe I should buy a Charleston, SC hat while I'm down there.   But ohhh heavens...I'm planning on going to the expo.....who knows what I'll be buying!

Yes, I am 2 weeks exactly from my 10k.  Actually, two weeks from right now I will be either sitting saying "wow....I did it.....or drat I failed miserably!"   I have run three times in the last week.  Tomorrow is a 5 mile run...then through the next week I plan on running at least 3-4  two to three mile runs.   THen next Saturday or Sunday hit up another 4-5 mile run and then hit one or two 2 mile runs that week before the 10k.  Yes, I think I should really have run a 6 mile training run...but you know what.....If I can do 5 miles I can do 6......chump change!