Thursday, August 17, 2017

Placeholder

Just checking in.....writing a post as a placeholder to say that I'm not off the weight loss wagon.   But I'm not exactly on the wagon!   

I'm eating really healthy and good for breakfast and lunch.  Dinner is a bit rocky some days!

Exercise...non existent!

My weight.  Well, it's hanging in there.  My low low weight from last week was just a passing trend.   This week I've managed to be a pound lower than the weight that I've been stuck at.   So a victory because I'm lower than that weight...but sad because I'm not at the super low weight from last week.   

But like I said last week...life is catawompus and I'm not expecting anything to remain the same with my weight!

So what are my plans?????   Right now I'm just holding on tight.    I'm trying to get used to the commute and learn a new job.  But the biggest thing that I'm trying to work around is that I'm exhausted!  My alarm is only set for 30 minutes earlier than it's been set at for the last 10 years.  And honestly I was almost always awake by the earlier time anyway....so my sleep patterns shouldn't be all whacked out. But they are.  I've been awakening one to two hours before my alarm...wide awake and unable to go back to sleep (or if I do it's within the last 15 minutes before the alarm goes off!).   So then by 8PM I'm struggling to stay awake!   I fight sleep each night because seriously if I let myself sleep at 8PM 3:30-4AM will seem like sleeping in!!!!     So with my sleep patterns all messed up, On top of the stress and mental tiredness of learning a new job, on top of adjusting to a commute........yeah I'm just hanging on for dear life.

So it's 9:07PM and I suspect if I type too much longer that there will be nothing coherent (if even what I've already written is coherent at all)..so I will stop!!!!!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Gift horse

Who knows??  I certainly don't!!!  But for some reason my weight has dropped this week....I'm talking 3-4 pounds since Monday.   What????

What have I been doing???? 

Well it certainly hasn't been exercise!!!!! 

Eating?   My routine has been a bowl of cereal or some toast in the morning (I grabbed a muffin one morning in the cafeteria....delicious.....very moist and tasty....not a good thing for me to know!)  For lunch I've been having two servings of fruit and a protein/snack bar (aldi brand.).  Like this....or one of the similar ones I've changed which box I grab from each day!



For dinner I'm HUNGRY...so I've been eating pretty heavy...as in one night was a half of a pizza, half order of breadsticks and then to finish the un-healthy meal off.....I had a chick fil a milkshake.  (That puppy is somewhere around 800 calories on its own!).  Yes...I've had milkshake from there twice this week!   



Yes I finished strong this week!

Yet my weight is dropping!   Go figure!   I'm just rolling with it!   Maybe it was the stress and all of the underlying issues at my last job that was holding me back from losing?  Maybe it is nerves from the new job?   Maybe it's just something wrong with my scales.   I don't know but I'm not complaining!!!!

I haven't come close to figuring out the exercise thing in this new schedule.  (Yeah I should be running this morning...Saturday but ...well....maybe next week!!).  The only thing I have figured out is that it takes about 15 minutes for me to circle the lake that is by work building.   Why yes....two days I walked on my lunch break!!!   I do have a plan....with the commute/traffic and the strict attendance/late policy I plan on getting to work super early.   Yes I'm sure some days I will just read in my car....or on cold days read in the cafeteria.  But my plan is to walk the loop around the lake!  And on my lunch breaks when it's not so stinking hot!!!!!    That's my plan....and as for right now....those laps of walking is better than nothing!!!!!

Where am I walking??? (And proof that I walked two different days because one day looks gorgeous skies and the other is overcast)

Ths is the view from the terrace of the building I am in.  You can see the path winding at the bottom of the picture....and you can see a bit of the path in the top right corner.   It's about a mile (I think....I meant to check the distance but I forgot on the two days I clocked it for time!)




And in this picture taken from the path on  other side of the lake/pond.  

And if I want to stroll or shop...off to the right in the second picture is a little 'village style' shopping area....and a Dicks Sporting Goods and a Target.  We won't even mention all the delicious smelling restaurants in the area that I walk past!

So a very nice place to walk....and I certainly want to keep my weight loss from this going...so I plan on waking!!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Open close

One chapter of my life is closed and a new one has opened.

What ended?  My time as a bank teller. 

  What began?   My new job.   (Sorry...no picture!).  

Last Wednesday was my last day at the bank. I spent Thursday and Friday running errands and doing all sorts of those little activities that just pile up and take time to do...I washed my quilt, got an oil change, did some shopping, purged some stuff from storage!  All in all it was extremely productive. (And expensive as my ignition on my car died....yikes!)

We spent a relaxing weekend hanging out...riding our bikes and then cleaning our bikes and chains and piling the chains up good....it was necessary after a bunch of rides that had us covered head to foot in mud!

And on Monday I started my new job.  So far so good...lots of HR stuff and lots of company overview and basic information about the job and company.   Real training will start on Thursday.  

So that brings me to my focus of this blog......weight and health.

My weight...237.  Which is on the low end for me.   But let's not get too excited.  Remember yesterday was my first day...meaning I had first day jitters....first day skip breakfast because my stomach was flipping with nerves.   First day nibble on lunch because my nerves had started to settle but I wasn't ready for a full meal.  (I ate like a pig at dinner though!)

My eating?  Not the greatest but I'm trying to fix that this week...start the new job with healthy habits!

Exercise?   I have an hour plus commute each way....I'm trying to figure this one out..  and admittedly, even though I sat most of the day...the overload of information made me so tired last night.   I sat around like a zombie!!!!

I will figure it all out...and in the meantime I just going to do my best!!!

Monday, July 31, 2017

Bad brings good

Well July is almost in the history books.    My weight....well it stayed the same...at the high end of my little current weight range.   I'm not happy....but I know that I didn't exercise like I should have and I also know that I had some badness that creeped into my daily routine (can I say king size Reece's cups?)

I am working to clean it up.   I stopped the Reece's cups....and have tried to add some more veggies and fruits!!!   This week we decided to make a big batch of bean salad for the week (super healthy and nutritious!!!)


And I have strawberries, nectarines, fresh pineapple and cherries!   Yummy!!!    

It was actually interesting.   We were in the grocery store and the bad stuff wasn't at all tempting....but fruit and veggies sounded and looked Aaaahhhh-mazing!!!   Our bodies were telling us what we needed to eat!!!

 I probably won't make my 10 pounds gone by August 7th.  I will be lucky if I show any kind of loss at all!!!  But you know what???  That's ok!     Sometimes we have to have a colossal failure before we can move on and have a wonderful success!!!!

My mileage for July.   I am definitely over budget on the necessary miles that I needed in order to not fall further behind.   In fact I will actually work off some of my decicit of miles that I need for the year.   I will definitely have my final numbers when the month is over!

This weekend we relaxed a bit on Saturday.  It was a long week for both of us and we needed to just sit back and 'be'.   We did go to the Cacapon State Park Resort.  Neither of us had ever visited. However we had both heard about it.   So since we were driving through the area we stopped.   It is pretty!  Cabins...a lodge...nature galore!!!!   We will probably go back to stay for a weekend!!!!


  On Saturday we were out on our bikes.    I don't know what happened but from the get go my legs felt like lead weights!!!!   I pushed on thinking that they would loosen up!  No they didnt.  Bike mile 10 or 11 they were aching.   By mile 14 my wrists were sore also.   I managed but I was ready to be done....and my grand plans to do a 25-30 mile ride were put on hold.   15 was plenty!   (Conversely...Jason was exhausted and kept talking about how he just wanted to take a nap...so who knows what our problem was yesterday!!!

Maybe our problem was that this week there was no mud!!!!  

It's been the year of turtles....so many turtles crossing the trails in front of us!!!

All that said we still had smiles on our faces as we enjoyed the gorgeous weather together!!!



Friday, July 28, 2017

What about peanut butter cups????

Lots of things are conspiring together this week to really bring me to a crossroad.   I know what road I want to take.....  but let's look at these events first.

I read an article in the last 24 hours that size eighteen (in fairness they said sixteen to eighteen at one point in the article) is the new average in the USA.    10 years ago it was a size fourteen.   When I read the article ten years ago I was a size fourteen and was happy to be average. (Because I had just achieved a size fourteen (and shortly hereafter a size twelve and even a ten once for about a minute!).   I'm a solid 16/18 right now.  (Ok that means that I can suck it in...lay down on the bed and zip myself into 16's. But I'm comfortable in 18's).   And even though I am apparently now considered average....I'm not at all happy with  being average!!!!     No way...no how!!!!

I learned while I was losing the weight the first time that when I'm eating unhealthy that my stomach hurts a whole lot more.    When I am a larger size it is a common thing to wake up with a stomach ache that takes a while to subside. It's not fun.   But sadly for many years it was my way of life.  It wasn't until I had lost maybe 50-80 pounds when all of a sudden one day I woke up and realized that I hadn't felt sick in weeks!!!   Sadly when I reach a certain weight and/or start eating poorly it comes back.   (Maybe that's not a sad thing...maybe that's a good thing!).  Guess what came back this week?????    

My brothers wife and kids just recently went to her family's home for a visit.  They got back about a week ago...and yesterday I was talking to my oldest nephew.  He mentioned looking through old pictures while there.  And he mentioned a picture of my brother and I at his college graduation.   And guess what?   My nephew looked at me and said 'I didn't realize you were so fat'. Ok I paraphrased....but he was talking about his shock at how big I was way back when.   He was actually complimenting me for how I look right now. (Remember I'm an  average 18 now!).   And I accepted the compliment.....but I also said...and just think I'm 50 pounds higher than my lowest.  (But yes...I'm also 80 pounds or so lower than that picture he must have seen!).    

Last night I was just simply craving ice cream!!!   So when I suggested it to Jason he was quiet for a few moments then said 'I've been wanting to try a chic fil a peach milkshake'. Yum!!!  I have always known that their milkshakes are calorifically ungodly!   But after we ordered and pulled around to the window Jason exclaims 'woah....for that many calories that better be an awesome milkshake!'    He doesn't watch calories!   He doesn't usually pay attention to those things!!!!!   And he wasn't doing it against me...he was making comments about himself saying 'well I will only eat half of it tonight so that's not too bad'.      Well let me tell you...I didn't split mine into two treats.  I practically licked the cup clean!!!     And the verdict from Jason???   He states that it was worth it....and he may have to have one more this summer before the peach milkshake goes away.   So yes worth it and I don't regret it...but it really made me think about those calories!!!

Last night I just flipped on the tv for noise.  The channel was sitting on TLC...and I got suckered into a tv show....my 600 pound life.  I've seen the show before but last night the lady just hit me hard.   She talked about the high/happiness from food.   She talked about eating when she is sad...when she is happy...thinking about her next meal before the one she is eating is even done.   All thinrgs I've written about numerous times on this blog! So it hit close to home.   And then when they talked about changing her diet and she said 'I can still have my peanut butter cups I just about fell off the chair.   I love Reece's cups!!!   I got scared thinking how easy it would be for me to eat myself into that situation!!!!!   

I took steps yesterday morning.  I said no to the Reece's cup at sheetz (a convenience store) when I stopped for a drink for work!  (And his morning also!!).  That is a huge first step!!!!  A customer is buying us lunch at work today and I ordered a salad versus a sandwich and fries.  (Yes a salad may be as calorically horrific as a sandwich and fries but it's at least more nutritious!!!). I'm taking steps.  I'm determined to do this!!!! I know it won't be an all or nothing deal.  I know I'll still have pizza ...and various less healthy foods.  But I can navigate it.  I can eat less...make better choices and make this work for me!!!!

I don't have grand dreams.  I'm not saying that I will lose tons of weight in august.  I am saying that I will lose!!! Something!!   It's the month of changes and any loss and steps in the right direction will be good!!!!

And on that note I'm going to get serious about noting my exercise/water and tracking on my calendar again!!!!  I haven't for the last week or two!!!!

Mf





Monday, July 24, 2017

Weakness

The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post from a high school friend.  (Acquaintance) .  She and a friend were standing on the top of a mountain that they had just hiked.   She looked incredible!  She looked happy.   And I was sad!

No! no!!! No!!!  I wasn't sad for her!  I was sad for me!  I was sad for the girl who has let her fitness level slip away.   I was sad for the girl that was on a walk and huffed and puffed up a small hill (if I can even call it a hill).

No I'm not totally out of shape and out of it.   We still walk...we still hike....although hiking has been put more on hold since it's hot.  In its place we have been riding our bikes more.   

But that said...I am much much weaker than I was a year ago!!!!

It started with losing my Zumba classes.    I sprained my ankle.    I got big blisters...bad blisters.  My work schedule changed.    And any number ofother deterrent factors.   All excuses...some valid.  Some that I may have milked a bit further than necessary.  

But all that said.  I am not happy with the huffing and puffing when I walk up hills.  I am not happy at all with my fitness levels!!!!

I woke up this morning determined to run.  I actually had a morning where I got to go to work later and I could manage a run.   I made it halfway around the block and I ended up turning around to limp home.   An injury/defect in my foot that has plagued me since I was about 8-10 years old kicked into high gear.    I knew it was only going to get worse if I didn't get off of it!  Grrrrrr

I don't know how I am going to fit exercise and physical activity into my life.   Especially with this new job and the hour each way commute.   But I've got to make it a priority!!!!

We rode bikes this weekend again.   I was feeling sluggish the whole time.  I'm not sure why.  But that said...I rode and didn't wimp out.  

We had to pick up our bikes to go across downed trees.  Ok I had to pick up my bike and carry it.   Jason toon the clumping clump jumpity jump route once or twice.  



I saw a lizard...a baby deer...squirrels....turtles...birds and this interesting big eyed bug.



A storm came up upon us and it downpoured!!!!!  Like soaked to the skin wet!!!!!!  

We changed at the car and when I got home I laid out clothes outside on the ground and sprayed the caked on mud off of the clothes before throwing them in the washer.


I'm sure the neighbors thought I was nuts (and maybe they aren't too far off in their thinking)


Weakness

The other day I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a post from a high school friend.  (Acquaintance) .  She and a friend were standing on the top of a mountain that they had just hiked.   She looked incredible!  She looked happy.   And I was sad!

No! no!!! No!!!  I wasn't sad for her!  I was sad for me!  I was sad for the girl who has let her fitness level slip away.   I was sad for the girl that was on a walk and huffed and puffed up a small hill (if I can even call it a hill).

No I'm not totally out of shape and out of it.   We still walk...we still hike....although hiking has been put more on hold since it's hot.  In its place we have been riding our bikes more.   

But that said...I am much much weaker than I was a year ago!!!!

It started with losing my Zumba classes.    I sprained my ankle.    I got big blisters...bad blisters.  My work schedule changed.    And any number ofother deterrent factors.   All excuses...some valid.  Some that I may have milked a bit further than necessary.  

But all that said.  I am not happy with the huffing and puffing when I walk up hills.  I am not happy at all with my fitness levels!!!!

I woke up this morning determined to run.  I actually had a morning where I got to go to work later and I could manage a run.   I made it halfway around the block and I ended up turning around to limp home.   An injury/defect in my foot that has plagued me since I was about 8-10 years old kicked into high gear.    I knew it was only going to get worse if I didn't get off of it!  Grrrrrr

I don't know how I am going to fit exercise and physical activity into my life.   Especially with this new job and the hour each way commute.   But I've got to make it a priority!!!!

We rode bikes this weekend again.   I was feeling sluggish the whole time.  I'm not sure why.  But that said...I rode and didn't wimp out.  

We had to pick up our bikes to go across downed trees.  Ok I had to pick up my bike and carry it.   Jason toon the clumping clump jumpity jump route once or twice.  



I saw a lizard...a baby deer...squirrels....turtles...birds and this interesting big eyed bug.



A storm came up upon us and it downpoured!!!!!  Like soaked to the skin wet!!!!!!  

We changed at the car and when I got home I laid out clothes outside on the ground and sprayed the caked on mud off of the clothes before throwing them in the washer.


I'm sure the neighbors thought I was nuts (and maybe they aren't too far off in their thinking)


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Holding on!

My weight returned to my 'happy weight .   Which doesn't make me happy really.  I want my weight to go down!!!!    But that is the weight that I seek to settle at.   But no complaints....a few weeks ago I was hovering 2-3 pounds heavier!

The stress free existence after giving my resignation was  short lived.   Now that that is behind me I have commenced worrying (apparently) about my new job.   It's not so much when I'm awake.   It's when I'm sleeping.   Why yes.  I'm having dreams.   So for example....last night in my dream it was morning and I was fiddling around and working on some projects that I have ongoing in my life......and my friend Julie came over to hang out with me before I started my new job.  She could do that after all because she works for the same company....but she didn't start until 9 and I had to be there earlier.  (As a side not Julie does work for the same company but in Indiana and I will be in Maryland.). We ran to McDonald's (really?) and then settled back in to sort through some boxes of old stuff I was getting rid of.  And that's when I looked at my watch and panicked.   You see it was 8:13....I wasn't dressed for work and I had to be there at 8:15.    And that's when I woke up.   

Ive had similar dreams each night....always about the changes upcoming in my life.

So it's invading my dreams.   Just great!   I guess I'm stressed and was too dumb to realize it!!

I am still working on the 2017 miles in 2017  At the midway point of this month I had 92 miles.....for the month I need 172 miles.  So I am on track this month.  I need to accrue an extra 55 miles to catch up for the year.  So all in all I'm not doing too badly.  I'm hanging in there.....close enough that I'm nowhere near saying 'it's hopeless'.    What is saving me is the fact that we are riding our bikes 20-30 miles each week.   That is the only thing that's holding me close.  My work schedule (with the overtime) makes it harder to get my runs in.  (I still haven't purchased reflective items/lights so that I can safely run before it's fully light).   It's been hot (and Jason is whupped when he gets off work)  so we have very rarely done any evening walks.  So it really has been the biking and weekend activities that have saved me!!!!

Work....it's ok.  It has eased up a bit...at least they are more friendly with me.  I still get made to feel like a dunce because I'm not doing things the supervisors way.   I just respond with 'well you are asking me to change the way I've done something for the last ten years I've worked with the company....it's hard to break a habit...it's not done overnight'.   And just for the record...it's not that I'm doing anything wrong ....just different that she does it and how she was trained the end result is the same.   And I've passed through numerous audits (actually more than her since I have 8 years seniority on her) and my way and the way I was trained has been just fine with all the auditors!!   So I am just counting down!!!!   When today is over it will be exactly 2 weeks left!!!  

So that is where I'm at!   Hanging on!!!