Monday, August 07, 2006

Random Thoughts

I got an email from a friend the other day. In it she was talking about some thought that she had about her weight loss. It really made me think. Why is this weight thing a huge problem. I've been stalled for the LONGEST time. I say I'm determined to do this. But why do I fall so easily. My friend talked about how she doesn't feel pretty so subconsciously she has no desire to lose the weight...why bother. She mentioned that she doesn't bother with make up or the frilly girl things because she feels it would be worthless....I know I definitely fit that bill! I'm wondering how much of the rest is true with me. My husband tells me that I'm pretty as do my parents. But I don't feel pretty. I often wonder what I'll look like when I'm thin. I wonder if I'll be pretty. I dont' know..... Maybe I'm afraid to look in the mirror and see what I'll look like without these pounds to hide behind.

Things are going so slow for me. I'm not losing....I'm struggling with the eating...and I struggle with the exercise! ARRGGHHHH