Saturday, December 29, 2007

Christmas Week and Reflections on a New Year

I was so tickled...I actually got my weight down to 180.8 yesterday morning!!! Woo hooo! HOw spectacular is that? But yesterday evening I had a slight problem, which caused my weight to jump back to 181.6. Yesterday morning, after i weighed myself, Todd mentioned going out to breakfast at his favorite diner (in Charlestown) because he was craving pumpkin pancakes. I know that Todd has been under a good deal of stress this week...and he's been working like mad also (even with it being a holiday week), so I thought it would be nice to take him to breakfast. Off we went. I didn't order too badly. I got an order of canadian bacon and a short stack (two 4-5 inch) of pancakes. They were super yummy...and I felt no guilt at all about eating them. The problem started when I got home and was getting ready to go to work. You see, we ate breakfast at almost 10AM, I left for work at 11:30ish (I had to go to the post office and stop at the trailer before getting there). So not only was time short...but I was no where near hungry for lunch at lunch. I did think ahead and took to work with me a banana to eat as a snack mid-way through the day. I got home and Todd and I had planned to eat dinner at 7:15....doable. But, the plans got changed.....we didn't eat until about 8:30 or so. SOOOOO when I went into the kitchen to make dinner at 7:45...I was STARVING. (ok, I wasn't starving but I was quite hungry). I had a few Almonds (man, those jalapano flavored almonds are DANGEROUS......very addicting)...and a handful or two of potato chips (reduced fat ones at least). I tested the batter for the cornbread. And even though my original plan was to forego the cornbread (hello...I had pancakes for breakfast...that was more than enough carbs for one day) I ate two pieces when we finally sat down to eat. Overall, I only ate three of the 5 servings of fruit/veggies that I aim for each day. I also did not exercise yesterday (chosing to go to breakfast instead).

Overall, the week of Christmas has been nice. Alan and Cindy have been in with the kids. It's been wonderful playing with the kids and visiting with my brother and his wife. The only problem with this....I feel as if I'm burning the candle at both ends. I've been working...I've still tried to cook dinners and take care of Todd while he's working and I've spent every available moment that I possibly could up at mom and dads...with my family. Todd doesn't resent any of that time....not at all, in fact, he's sorry that he can't also spend the time up there. However, I just feel bad leaving Todd to fend for himself....especially knowing how hard he has been working this week! So, I'll be sad to see Alan and Cindy go...but I'll be happy to get back to a normal routine in my life. :-)

I've got to sit down and plan our meals out for this coming week so that I can go grocery shopping. I'm planning on grocery shopping tomorrow. :-)

This afternoon, Todd and I are going down to Frederick to bottle up the beer that he mixed up the other week. Then we are heading back up to Hagerstown...hitting the gym...and then spending the rest of the afternoon and evening with my family.

Eating today....I had oatmeal for breakfast. I've packed a butter (zero point), jelly (one point) and bread (low cal/high fiber one point) sandwich and and apple for lunch. I've also got a clemantine here at work that I didn't eat yesterday...I'll eat all that for lunch on the way to Frederick. I think mom is having a roast for dinner. I'll push for lots of extra veggies. :-) So I think I can do halfway decently with eating today.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this past year and the year to come in regards to my weight loss progress and goals. I really do feel that this coming year will find me at my goals. I look at this past year. My focus has remained on the end results. I've had the motivation. But, I can honestly say taht there was a period where I've been on a plateau...I've struggled to lose. However, I've seen periods where I'm not exactly eating the best that I could be eating. I've 'stretched' the rules so to speak. I think in the long run it will be oh so much healthier for me because I've learned to manage and I've been incorporating this lifestyle into my everyday routine. Even on days where I feel I've done poorly, I find that I've only eaten a few points over my daily allotment. (for example...yesterday, even with the almonds, the chips and the pancakes..I was only 3 points over my daily goal..that's not too bad!). That is a huge achievment in itself.

For the new year, I definitely want to get to my goal. At the very least, I want to have reached my weight watchers goal and the corresponding lifetime status. In fact, my goal is to get rid of the 15 pounds needed to reach that by March! (or earlier if possible!). I'm honestly tired of sinking $40 into weight watchers each even though I'm not goign to 'crash' diet or plan is to really right...exercise religiously and try to get these 15 or so pounds off ASAP. Then I'll focus on reaching my own personal goals. (The 15 will put me within the healthy weight range for my height...which is what weight watchers requires).

For Christmas Todd got me a gift certificate to Victoria's Secret. I shouldn't have been surprised. Every time we go through the mall, he makes a comment about how I can probably fit into their normal sized stuff now...and that how I can shop there. He's even asked me why I haven't. I will definitely be shopping there now....I've got a nice sized gift certificate to do so. And honestly I probably needed the kick in the butt to actually do it. You see, the gift certificate has forced me to really think about why I've ignored the store. I am still having a very big problem thinking of myself in terms of anything other than being fat. I dont' feel as if I'm "worthy" of going into the store. I know I shouldn't feel that way...but that's the way it is. I've always been one to not do things because I dont' want to look ridiculous as a 'fat girl' doing something that only a thin girl should do. I shouldn't even give it another thought, I know. I know it's going to be a long process for my mind to really wrap itself around the fact that I'm no longer obese.