Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Disgust!

Yesterday I did so good. I was careful, I was active (painting..but active none-the-less) and I stopped on the scales this morning....woah baby was I up! That is so not cool! It's actually quite disgusting.

Honestly, it makes me want to give in and give up. NO, I'm not going to. I've already made plans to buckle down even further. BUT it is just so disheartening! Like I said in yesterday's entry, I know what I've done. The sick part is that I wasn't being all that bad. And to gain a significant amount just really puts a damper on any enthusiasm I have for this journey. Where in the world does one find the mojo to continue on when the chips are down.

My exercising still isn't where it should be. The alarm went off at the proper time...allowing me to have the time to exercise, shower, eat breakfast and get ready for work (and still be here on time). I leaned over and turned the alarm off....and then preceeded to lay in bed for about 25 minutes. I can make all sorts of excuses...it was cold out....I was tired....whatever excuse I want to make. But it boils down to the fact that I just didn't feel like it. Even as I lay there beating myself up for not getting out of bed...I made plans to exercise tonight. I thought about the fact that I'll be watching The Biggest Loser tonight and I have decided that if I don't exercise before than, that I will ride the bike while I watch it tonight. I'm fearful though...because I know that the best laid plans don't always work out. I've got to kick start my exercising though.

I'm not going to my meeting tonight. Various reasons.....with the biggest being the fact taht i'm working a long day today and I know that usually after working a long day i just want to go home and put on my comfy clothes. I know I gained.....I know what I need to do to fix it.

Work on the other place is progressing nicely. It looks a mess.....but I can see where things are going to really start falling together very soon. :-) I'm looking forward to moving in over there. There have been some hardships where we live. It's not exactly easy to live above a recording studio.....just to name one. Plus, the water issues (we live on a cistern so before i do anything I have to check to make sure we have enough water to do it...and we have to haul in drinking water). Heat....an old house...difficult to heat! The other place has good heating! (and central air for the summer...what a plus....no more window units like we have now). I could go on and on with lists of wonderful things. Things that you'd normally take for granted...but I haven't. In a way it's been a very good thing. I've learned not to take for granted many things. Water.....how many times do we simply turn on the faucet and let the water run with no thought. I don't do that. In fact, I hope I never just mindlessly waste water....I don't want to become hardened again. So there have been some important lessons that I've learned. :-)

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