Friday, October 24, 2008

Feelings


wheel, originally uploaded by mfcstotler.

No real reason for the picture, other than that fact that I took it yesterday and I really like it, and I'm grasping at straws to feel more 'up" today.

I'm struggling with that inner voice that says to throw in the towel, eat what you want, and be happy...no matter what you weigh!

Even as that little inner voice says that and I subsequently think, "wow, that would be nice" I then mentally scream..."NO NO NO! I will not give up and thereby fail!" Of course am I failing now anyway?

Not a good day....lots of thoughts bickering with one another in my head!

Not a good morning

What more to say than that I am fighting the urge to emotional eat! This has been a rough morning. Got up at 3 to feed the baby kitten. It was playful and eating and all was right with the world. At 7am when I went to feed it....it was dead. Yesterday was such a good day...a clean bill of health from the vet, found it a home. Just good. This morning a burial. (yes, we have a new grave in our yard. Came inside and lysol'ed down the bathroom that the kitten had resided in. And ran some laundry (old rags and stuff that we had used in kittens cage). I started to fold a big load of laundry that I did last night. A pen must have been in a pair of my husbands khakis.....soooooo I lost three dress shirts/sweaters, a pair of khakis and a skirt! Ohh my husbands clothes that were in the same load....FINE! This was all before breakfast! I finally made some toast. I won't lie to you, I want to go back and have more!

And for Donnalouise...I live in Sharpsburg, MD. That is about 20 miles west of Frederick. We are about 45 -60 minutes from DC and or Baltimore.