Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Acceptance

So, what is a good motivator to stay within ones food budget for the day????? Hmmmm, would a pair of pants splitting at the seam while you are wearing them do it???? OK, this morning I was fixing breakfast for Todd and I. I was wearing a pair of flannel lounging pants. They are not overly tight...or so I thought. I made breakfast and called Todd to eat. I sat down.....shhhhrrrriiiiiiiiip. I felt my seat of my pants and sure enough, I didn't feel soft cozy flannel, but rather cool skin. Uhhhhhh, not good! Not happy here! But, just another reminder to keep myself focused!

My weight this morning jumped from 199.0 to 200.6. One point six pounds in a day? Possible???? Yeah. But I definitely did not eat 1.6 pounds worth of food. :-) Soooo here's hoping it's water! No matter the cause, I'm focused on reversing it. I did have a big breakfast today. Pancakes and turkey sausage. However, I've planned out the rest of my day eating wise and I'm good!

I think part of this journey for me is to start to stop making excuses. Yeah, I worked outside yesterday morning so that when I came in to eat lunch I scarfed up every morsel of food that was readily available to me...BUT I worked all morning. Excuses! I didn't need that extra food. My body had received enough nutrients from my planned lunch. I did not need seconds! I need to stop making excuses and just say...it happened so lets move on. The question pops into my mind though....where is that fine line between making excuses and consoling oneself. For example, saying....I had a lot of sodium yesterday so it's probably water weight. That is still an excuse isn't it? Yet, it also keeps me calm and motivated. There is a fine line there!

Acceptance is a difficult thing. Not just as I just wrote, accepting responsibility for my setbacks. But also accepting what I am. I have changed drastically from what I used to be and what I am now. And sometimes I just don't get it still. Yeah, I'm riding my bike mad miles. (for me at least.....and growing all the time as my endurance improves) Yet I still feel like the sluggard MF from days gone by. I struggle with believing in myself. I doubt myself at every turn in my biking adventures. I am stuck thinking like the fat maryfran that bought her bike in 2001. The MaryFran that proudly took her bike to the canal and hopped on to ride and didn't even make it a mile before she was practically falling off the bike in total exhaustion. Yes, I went about a half mile to 3/4 of a mile and was so exhausted that we took a LONG break before heading back to the car. And we had to stop numerous times on the way back to the car so that I could catch my breath and rest up, gathering myself to bike just a little further until the next rest break. Reconciling that MF to the current MF is difficult!

I've been in a melancholy mood the last few days. I've been working on some scrapbook layouts, trying to finish the bulk of last years events and activities. (Right now all that is left, for the most part is our October vacation from last year....so I"m giving myself permission to start working on my April GWG stuff!). What makes me melancholy is the pictures of me from last summer. I was so much trimmer, my face was lean. I was looking dang good, It makes me sad that I frittered away the winter and gained and now I'm behind the eight ball again. I want to get back there sooo bad! And of course the scales creeping up the last few days does NOT make it any easier! But I will persevere with it....and I will work on accepting my new self!

8 comments:

Deborah said...

The ripping pants would be a motivator for me too. Hope your day is a good one.

spunkysuzi said...

Yep, that would keep me on the straight and narrow at least for a couple of days :)

fatty McButter Pants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fatty McButter Pants said...

That was me...I made too many mistakes.

Ripping of the pants would be a good motivator for me! Your story made me LOL. They were old...right?

You do so well! You eat right and I am in awe of your success. Your attitude is great too.

You didn't waste the winter...I read your blog most thru the winter. You "lived" thru the winter...everyone gains alittle when they are cooped upinside.

Give yourself a break. You know how to and WILL LOOSE the rest of the weight.

Keep inspiring me!

VRaz60 said...

I think ripping pants would be a motivator for me, but then again, I might just use them for hot summer days when I needed an extra breeze. But maybe not if they were flannel.
You are really doing a great job of adjusting when you need to adjust, and changing things that you know need to be changed. I admire that about you. I'm working on doing that, too, but I'm a little slow on the uptake in that regard.

JC said...

LOL not laughing at you but laughing with you. At least I assume your laughing now, maybe not then. Yep, ripping pants would definitely motivate me unles I could make the excuse that they were old pants. HA!!! Hang in there girl.

Teresa said...

I can definately relate to the ripping pants. I sure hope the rest of your week starts out better then that.

SeaShore said...

Some days not even ripping pants would motivate me. Some days I'm consumed with grazing or a craving that won't be denied. In some ways "I get it", but sometimes the eater in me takes over anyway.