Tuesday, April 03, 2012

I have not died or disappeared off the face of the earth.   I was so 'up' and then I was just tossed back to the ground.  Pretty much all my strength and focus has been keeping my head above water.   The sad part, I eat horribly out of my pain and frustration....and that just brings more self loathing.  I keep saying I'm gonna stop...but seriously, that's so much easier said than done...especially when you are constantly fighting your emotions.  Would it be easier if I just curled up in a corner and cried my eyes out?  If I just gave in to the pressure?   I don't think I'd ever stop.....

Oh well....I'm not saying there aren't good times.  I've had some really good times where I feel almost like myself. 

2 comments:

spunkysuzi said...

Believe you me I know how hard it is to stop the compulsive eating.
Just don't stop trying. Try babysteps maybe just getting your water in will help with the hunger issues??
If you need to talk feel free to e-mail me any time.

kristi said...

I have been there too...hugs.