Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Self Flogging over

Ok, the self flogging is over.  I'm not saying that I'm chipper, up dancing naked in the streets (holy hell that would be a sight!..and not a pretty sight!).  But I sat down yesterday and wrote in my private journal for a while.  I broke my unhappiness down into segments and actually looked deeply at the problems.  Some of them do make me feel backed in a corner with no way out...but you know what.  My weight is NOT that way.  I see a glimmer of light.  I've scaled that wall before. I KNOW I can scale it again.  So I'm going to focus on that right now.  My weight.  Focus on the light..and move toward it.  Hoepfully some other things will fall into place while I'm doing that.....or hopefully when I scale that weight wall that I'll be able to see some other things more clearly...and see other glimmers of light that I can follow.  But I know that the weight issue is the one surefire thing I have the power to change right now. 

That said......self worth.  I am strugglign with that.  Not feelign worthy of so much...and if I"m not worthy...why would i take the time to lose my weight.  Seriously?  I'm gonna fight that thought too!

Soooo meanwhile....I've been exercising.  Trying to get out there and run.  Going to zumba.  Really working it.  And I'm feeling it.  The old arthritic knees are aching. They are a nuisance...but I know what's wrong. The thing that concerns me is my foot.  I'm having some sharp burning pains in my one foot.  Mostly after I exercise......rest helps..but when I exercise it kicks back in.  I can stay off it for a couple days and it just flares back up if I use it.  Hmmmmm....

5 comments:

timothy said...

we've all been there MANY times, just keep goin caise you ARE worth it, especially when you dont feel it! oxoxoxoxoxo

bbubblyb said...

Maybe it's time to go to the Orthopedic doc and get some arthritis meds if you aren't already taking them. I know for me they help a great deal when I'm good and take them regularly :) Good to see ya btw :) hugs

spunkysuzi said...

I hear you on the arthritic knees!
I have found that when I lose even a few lbs the knees start to feel better.
I'm so glad your back to blogging regularly. I missed you <3

Carole said...

Nice post. You might like this post about being worth it. http://caroleschatter.blogspot.co.nz/2012/04/im-worth-it.html

Lucy said...

rest, take care of yourself :) I self flogged a couple days ago. didn't want to write about it on my blog bcs i didn't want anyone trying to cheer me up!LOL!