Monday, February 18, 2013

Fear and happiness


I decided that it was time to rejoin the gym.  Todd and I debated about which gym to go to. OK, Todd never debated...I did.  When I originally started the healthy lifestyle thing, we joined Gold's Gym.   We both liked it but we spent a LOT of money each month for the two of us.  After a few years we decided to move to a gym that was  bit closer...thus we tried out South Point Fitness.  It was small and cramped and Todd hated working out there, he said it made him claustrophobic.  We left there and switched to the ultra cheap Planet Fitness.  That wasn't so bad...for a no frills gym, but eventually as money became even more tight we dropped that (plus there was an issue with a worker and Todd that wasn't pretty and Todd complained about the gym the whole time...said he didn't like the vibe).  We went gymless for a while.   We went back to Gold's (which is substantially cheaper now).   And there have already been a few lessons that I would like to share.

Lesson number one.  I was talking to the guy that signed us up.  I mentioned that I was doing the couch to 5k training program and that it was working, I wasn't fast and it wasn't by any means pretty, but I was doing it.   He looked at me and his words were "I think it's splendid, you've already lapped everyone that's sitting on their couch!"    You know....that is totally right!   I sat around for so many months and years of my life and I let myself be lapped over and over again. Why?   Fear kept me down.  I was afraid I would look retarded.  I was afraid I would fail.  I was just afraid.  But you know what....sitting on the couch doing nothing is what I SHOULD have beeen afraid of!  I am up and moving.  There is no way in hell that my actions will hold me back......the only thing that holds me back is inactivity!

Lesson number two wasn't really a lesson, but rather just a thought that flitted through my mind.  Today is  bank holiday, so of course I'm off work.  We decided to head to the gym.  After my workout I went into the locker room.   And that's when I realized.   I don't fear the gym.  I will go and push myself and feel confident that I'm doing my best.  What I fear?  I fear the locker room.  I always chose a locker that's off in  corner and hope and pray that the area will be uninhabited when it comes time for me to change after my workout.   And eii yii yii..the showers???   ~~shudder~~    So today I walked into the locker room.  I set my stuff down and walked over to the sinks so that I could take  look at myself.  You see, I was trying to figure out if I could forgo taking a shower after my workout (when I used to workout at the gym I only showered at the gym once.....fear you know.....even though it's irrational and I know it!) I walked to that mirror THREE times....dreading it.  But I knew that we had some plans and errands after the gym and I really needed to do something......greasy sweaty hair is not a good pretty sight.  After my shower, I started to think about it.  Seriously?  What do I fear?  It's absolutely NUTS!    I'm not going to live my life with irrational fears.  I'm going to push myself and the world better as hell watch out because I'm going to emerge from this cacoon strong and ready to kick ass!
 OK upon rereading this for a quick edit, I just realized that lesson one and two are both me facing my fears.  Interesting.
I've been saying that our happiness has to come from inside and not due to any amount of exercise or weight loss.  I've said it can't come from a job...or a spouse...or material possessions.  It really does come from within.  Apparently George Washington felt the same!



9 comments:

Kady Losing It said...

Good for you for re joining a gym! I am thinking about joining Planet Fitness because its to closest to me, I dont have a Golds Gym near me :(

Scribbles said...

Living in a small town a we're limited to gym exposure lol. My daughter, in the City tells me about her gym visits and what kinds of classes and things they have, and the machines she uses. Makes me feel a little like I'm there!

Gwen said...

Good for you, for conquering a fear today (and for rejoining a gym!)

Me, I prefer the ease and simplicity of working out at home. To each their own!

Betty Taylor said...

Congrats on facing your fears! A gym seems to work well for me. I guess you finding what works for you and doing it is a great idea.

Betty

http://agutandabutt.blogspot.com/

timothy said...

BRAVO for facing your fears, and congrats on being back in the gym!

Michelle said...

Nice insights! Glad you've found your way back into a gym and are enjoying it.

Pam Robbins said...

Since reading your post, I have "Don't Stop Believing" stuck in my head! That's a GOOD thing! Good for you for conquering your fear!

Fran said...

I don't belong to a gym right now because I do my workouts at home but I never ever showered in the gym. Because my gyms never were far from home and I showered at home. I don't feel comfortable sharing a shower with others.

Cathy said...

I loved going to the gym, but hated the locker room. I never went in it unless I had to go to the bathroom. I just went straight home and changed. I can't afford any gym anymore, so I don't go at all, but you're right, why fear something so silly.
I could be afraid of people laughing at me running, or I could just crank up the music and run and ignore everyone else. :-) Makes for a much nicer run.