Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Derailment

I had grand plans.  I ran yesterday morning and since Todd had an unexpected cancelation combined with no Zumba I had plans to either go for a bike ride or play tennis.  I talked to Todd and he wasn't jumping up and down with joy, but he seemed on board.   The day progressed and just from his responses I got 'the feeling'.  What is the feeling?  The feeling that it wasn't going to happen.  Round about 5PM I got the text.  He was feeling sick and wasn't going to be able to participate and by the way can we do dinner at 8 so I can finish my stiff at the studio.  

I'm going to break this down into two parts. Him and me.

Him.   I'm not saying that he didn't feel horrible...who am I to judge something like that.  It certsinly sedmed as if ge was not feeling great.  I am just saying that I had a feeling beforehand.  Probably his texts informing me of every sprinkle that fell from the sky and his updates on the possibility of rain forewarned me. Whatever, I had a feeling. Anyway,  His sicknesses come on when it's my plans...he can still do his stuff (working at the studio from 7Am to 8pm yesterday while 'sick' and he had no clients yesterday)and is usually not sick on days and events of his choosing.  It just gets old....real or conjured up, it gets old.

The real problem was with me.  I could have gone out on my bike.  I could have gone to the gym.  (No way dinner would have been at 8..but i could have gone!) I could have pulled out an exercise DVD.  I could have even pulled out the Xbox kinnect.  I could have done something!   I could have said that 8 was not going to work for dinner, that 8 didn't give me the time I needed to complete my tasks.  I could have changed the dinner plans to try to accommodate the requested dinner time.  I could have done so much differently.  However I let his 'sickness' derail my plans.  Is it the end of the world?  No.  I still exercised yesterday. Even if I hadn't, it's not the end of the world.  But I need to learn to stand up and take control of MY life and not allow ruined plans to affect the decisions I need to make in my healthy lifestyle.


7 comments:

timothy said...

absolutely, you are the most important thing and that passive aggressive sabotage so many of our loved ones do is crap. I remember my ex when I had been on plan for a month and losin great ordered my fave pizza and then begged me to have just a slice. UGH!

Betty Taylor said...

I am struggling with my husband sabotaging my plans, I don't think he is doing it on purpose, but is doing it, none the less. Sometimes, that takes away the the bit I'd resolve we have to do something. Just keep working on it. You are still an exercise machine.

*AStrongNewMe* said...

I have a bad habit of letting my plans fall apart when someone lets me down or backs out on me too. You are right, though, you realize you could have done something anyway. It is smart to recognize that and admit it so next time you know what to do!

Darcy Winters said...

I almost commented on this yesterday, but was hoping your husband wasn't like mine. I suspect that since he noticed your weight loss and new curves that he feels the "power" shifting. You will probably see him trying to do more and more of this as you not only become more fit, but get more confident about yourself. Watch and see AND don't let him stop you!

twogirlsmama76 said...

You could of joined me and the girls. Next time go without him. You got this.

Kelly said...

I totally agree with you. I am a pleaser and end up feeling worthless when I just follow along to make people happy. I'm in an art course right now and I'm always last to be helped because 'it's ok' no worries... but then I feel hurt about it later. My partner said to me when I was venting on the way home "Your the captain of your ship" and he is right and that totally empowered me. It made me feel back in control and I keep saying that to myself whenever I feel like I'm not communicating or respecting myself. If I don't respect my needs no one else will! I just posted this blog post here about it but turned it around to be about a CAN DO ATTITUDE! Thanks for sharing your story! :) Kelly

Crystal Duncan said...

Our husbands sound the exact opposite. Mine is very hands on with my weight loss. He wants me doing every possible thing I can do. I sometimes have to back off. My coworkers are the ones I have trouble with. I've (mostly) solved this by staying in my office