Monday, August 26, 2013

A wall or two to climb

As I approached my 40th birthdayhttp://mfclingan.blogspot.com/2012/12/turning-40.html   (sorry, I haven’t figured out how to insert a link whilst on my cell phone, so I’ll just include the web address)  I took a very clear look at my life.  I didn’t like what I saw.  Was this a midlife crisis?  I don’t know.   I just know that I didn’t like where I was. I felt as if I was backed into a dark dark corner and there was no readily available way out. The walls surrounding me where thick and high.   But I realized that there was one little spark of a chance to fix something…You see, I realized that if I could just get a toe hold I may be able to start climbing the wall to remove myself from that dark dank corner.  I vowed to attack the only thing that I could fix on my own.  That was my weight.   I started to attack the weight problem (and continue to attack).   My hope was that if I got to the top and could start to see over the wall that I was climbing that a few things could happen. One was that  I hoped that the other side of the wall would be bright, sunny and a happy place.  But barring that, because I knew that there were/are many facets of my life that were out of place I hoped and prayed that the strength that I found while climbing over that first wall would be enough to carry me up and over the next wall.  I prayed that the strength and courage and fortitude that I built as I crawled out of that first place would help me as I crawled through holes and scaled previously insurmountable walls.  
 
I started scaling that first wall at the very end of December/beginning of January.  I didn’t see anything different in my life. The other problems were still there.  I kept plugging along.  I started feeling happier, my exercise was working as therapy within me to clear my mind and erase some of the stress.  I was moving along.  The other side of the wall still looked dark and bleak but instead of cowering in the corner of that dark place I was doing everything I could to get to a better place.
 
As the last 9 months have rolled by, I’ve had another wall pop up in my path.  The strength that I discovered with my weight loss has helped me start to scale that next wall.  Success really does breed success.
 
I’m facing my challenges dead on and I’m winning.  And the best part?  For the first time in recent years I’m daring to dream about the future. For the first time in recent years I want to organize my life.  I want to make my life better.  I want to do what I can to be successful.  I’m not just existing, I’m actually wanting to LIVE. 
 
Excess weight drug me down….losing the weight is the catalyst to set me free!
 
 
I’m totally within spitting distance of getting my next charm.  I know round about what I want to get.  I haven’t shopped for it (to even know if they have anything like what I want) but I know what I want.
 

4 comments:

timothy said...

i'd say start shopping you got this!

Marion Shaw said...

I like the part about you dreaming about your future. :D

twogirlsmama76 said...

Dream Big!

*A Strong New Me* said...

It's great that you are moving toward living your life and not letting weight and other things hold you back. I need to get there!