Well, my next 5k is tomorrow. Paws on the Pavement to benefit the humane society in my county. I'm as ready as I'm going to be. I probably shouldn't have come home today and cleaned so vigorously. My legs are aching. Oops. Oh well..that's life. And I wanted to try to to have a clean house to start off our 10 days of vacation. But back to the race tomorrow. I'm nervous. Not about running. No, I will run as much and as hard as I can. I will walk at a fast clip if I have to. I'm not worried about that. I am not nervous about reaching my goal that I set for myself (to run it in under 40 minutes). I know that according to the time on all my training runs that I won't make the goal. I'm still hopeful, but I'm not stressed about it. I would LOVE to make that goal. But I will be happy if I get a better time than my previous 5k's. But you know what. I'm going to do it and be happy that I'm out there doing it.
So what makes me nervous and freaked out? Doing it by myself. Yes, isn't that totally irrational and stupid? I admit it, it is asinine!! I'm excited about my run. However, the excitement at running this 5k (and if my dreams our met reaching a goal I've been working toward) is tempered with the fear of doing it alone. (yeah, alone in a crowd ha ha ha). I know in my mind that this is irrational. What is going to happen to me because I'm alone???? Nothing. I know this. Yet this fear still overtakes me. Why am I this way????? I don't like it.
Ready or not...I'm facing this irrational fear tomorrow. Would I have had more fun if I had a friend or two with me? Possible....but that wasn't an option for this run and I'm OK with that. I'm still doing it and I'll come out on top at the end.....proud of myself for doing it...for accomplishing my run....for everything.
There is no room in my life for fear and I will banish every stupid fear when the opportunity arises!