I've been totally honest with myself the last few days. I feel more in control. It's amazing how actually taking control of my food addiction and actually controlling it versus letting it control me changes my whole attitude. I like being in control! It's very empowering.
I got out for a ride this evening. (Thanks to my big brother for once again coming through for me and giving me a small lesson on road bike tires.........he's always been awesome....however, don't tell him, I don't want it to go to his head). It felt GREAT! It also reminded me that I've not just been running from the truth in my eating. I've been running from the truth or rather running from the acceptance of what I know to be true. What is that? It's the truth of knowing that the life that I want to live, the body that I want to live in, the energy and vibe that I want to have in my life is all attainable....but it means that I have to actually get off my butt and LIVE that life....put the work in to HAVE that life. It means that I go out and run even when I don't want to. It means I ride even when life screams at me to not ride. It means that when it's pouring rain and I can't follow my original exercise plan that I get on the exercise bike or get my butt to the gym. It means I do what is needed to have the body I want....to have the energy that I want...to be the person that I know that I'm capable of being. It's not going to come to me...I have to go after it!
I have made the decision to live this lifestyle. I don't demand or expect anyone to join me on this quest. I have never expected Todd to run with me. I've never expected Todd to get a road bike and ride with me. (However, I do hope that he does continue...or restart, to ride with me on the canal). I don't expect him to be gung ho. I have hoped that he would support me (and he has, in a passive way.....however he did support me in a very hands on way at the Donut Alley Rally). I would LOVE to have him join in and embrace this lifestyle by doing everything with me...but I don't expect it. This is MY decision and my lifestyle. However, there are some signs of him taking a more active roll......
So the moment of truth is upon us. Friday night was the Donut Alley Rally. I had a great time. I had asked Todd to go along as my cheering section. He grudgingly went and found out that he really liked the energy that coursed through everyone in attendance. He has talked to me about starting to run....in fact he's told me that tomorrow he plans to run Day One, day one of the c25k program. I
The weather today was GORGEOUS!!!! The weather for my ride was fabulous. I got home, swapped out my shoes and push mowed our property.....so an hour bike ride followed by an hour and fifteen minutes of push mowing. GREAT activity for the evening. And yes, I ate my leftover pizza and I don't feel at all guilty (yes, I ate a LOT of pizza today...both lunch and dinner..)