I've got one day left in the month (not including the rest of the day....). I had committed to propelling myself 75 miles in the month of February. as of right now I'm 66.98 miles in. So I've got 8.02 to complete in the next roughly 36 hours! I've got this! :-) And yes, even though I rode this morning.....I may have to hop on and ride again tonight just to finish it off so I can finish it with one day to spare!
I want to eat 'normal'. I don't want to eat a handful of bean sprouts and call it a meal. (and nothing against bean sprouts....in their time and place). I want to be able to eat everyday normal foods. I want to be 'normal'.
Does it sound like I'm whining??? Yeah, probably...but I'm not.
Normal. How do we define normal? That is where the crux of the matter lies. What is normal? I've come to the conclusion that there is a thin person's normal and an obese persons normal.
Obese Normal for me on a day off, our and about with my husband used to consist of this.....
*Breakfast - A full breakfast. Probbably at McDonalds (yeah, we don't do Mcdonalds anymore, but we used to)
Bacon egg and cheese bagel
* Lunch - This would occur round about 11 or 12 because we were hungry of course...breakfast wasn't that large afterall...just Mcdonalds. We would eat at some place like Outback or Olive Garden or Ruby Tuesdays. For the sake of this post I'll chose Outback.
Bloomin' Onion (we did at least split that)
Salad (a girl has to be healthy you know)
Alice Springs Chicken
Pepsi with numerous refills
Bread.....and yes please, we need another loaf...and another....and another
Dessert.... usually we were miraculously full and couldn't get a dessert.....ok 50% of the time
*Mid afternoon snack.. Yes, we would pick up something for a mid afternoon snack. Usually at Wendy's...off their cheap menu
Junior Bacon Cheeseburger
* Dinner By now we were usuallly home. So I would make something delicious...
Hot taco dip maybe.....ground beef, a pound of monteray jack cheese, a can of refried beans, a can or two of cheddar cheese soup. Absolutely Delicious
Tortilla chips (not baked)
2 liter of Dr Pepper (which we split)
Ice cream and homemade cake
That used to be 'normal' That was an obese girls normal. I do NOT want that normal again. I want normal though. I want "THIN" normal.
Thin normal is what I want. Thin normal! Thin normal is making healthy choices but not eating copious amounts of food. Thin normal (for me) will include my current tricks of cooking healthier when at home. Thin normal is still saying I can have the hot taco dip (with minor changes...less cheese...turkey burger...diet dr pepper and baked chips) but then counter balancing the rest of the meals to allow for that heavy dish. Thin normal is not denying myself anything but eating everything in moderation.
I have written about this before.......but I'll write it again. When I started my current job I had a manager who was rail thin. Just a tiny little thing. For a while I sat back and observed her and it made me MAD! Seriously! She had a full drawer of candy and food that she was seemingly eating from! She talked about her love of the cheesecake factory and talked about the cheesecake she had the night before or that she would be getting next time. It drove me CRAZY! And then one day I noticed it. She had gone to the cheesecake factory the night before......I knew it and it had bothered me. And then the day after her cheesecake factory outing she stood up and said "I'm going to go upstairs and get my cheesecake." I groaned because seriously....I was already going insane from watching her eat crazy unhealthy foods while I nibbled on raw carrots. She brought down her little container of cheesecake. She opened it up and said "this is what was left from last night when I ordered my piece of cheesecake". What? Leftover. She opened that container and I swear the whole piece of cheesecake sat right there with only two bites taken out of it. I asked her if she had ordered two pieces. Yes, I asked her that. But it turns out she only ordered one. She had eaten her two bites and then put it in a to go container to take home. She ate two or three bites that day and guess what she did? She closed the lid and returned that cheesecake to the fridge. I was in shock! Seriously! I would have scarfed down that whole piece in the time it took her to eat two bites! there wouldn't' have been left overs.... But no, She ate on that same darn piece of cheesecake ALL FREAKIN' WEEK!
THAT is eating normal. Eating normal is SHARING a dessert when you go out (which I have to give my husband props...he does that with me!). Eating normal is not having 4 full meals in one day. Eating normal is having one (maybe) full big meal and then meals that more resemble snacking for the others....or eating normal can resemble more small meals. (which leaves me dissatisfied, so that's why I go for the one big meal and then smaller snacky type meals). Eating normal is taking a thin persons eating mentality and super-imposing it over my obesity warped mind and coming up with a plan that works for me!
Normal is what we make it......Obese eating is NOT normal! I want THIN normal!