Sunday, August 17, 2014

That's my Story and I'm sticking to it!

I too much food this weekend.  I was in Virginia for the weekend with a friend.  Yeah, I just kind of cut loose and ate what I wanted.  Not exactly what I should have been doing.  But hey, I don't get to spend a weekend with my friend to often, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I had grand plans to exercise this weekend.  I had exercise clothes.  I had the opportunity!   I was SOOOO going to do it.  I however spent my 'down time' writing and working on some personal projects.  On Sunday morning when I woke up, it was super foggy. Way too foggy for a good run through unfamiliar territory.   Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

I won't know what my weight will be tomorrow morning.   I fear the effects of my weekend of food debauchery.  The monthly ick is around the corner, so the weight should be popping with that....regardless of the food that I ate and the exercise that I didn't do.   So yes, I do believe that any weight gain will be due to the monthly ick.  Yes, that's my story and i'm sticking to it!!!!!

Ok, all joking aside.  I know that I am responsible. I can blame it on the fog and the ick and the excitement of my fun weekend, but it is an untruth.   I totally made my choices.  Me and all me.

I was in my car today.  I had grand ideas of what I wanted to write about. But now that it's time to write I just don't know......so I'll just briefly touch on some of them.

 I thought about writing how we all hide secrets deep inside.  We put on shows for other people.  We hide behind laughter.  We hide behind jokes.  But inside who are we.....really?   I think this thought process has been in my mind since I heard the news about Robin Williams.  Yes, he was open about his depression...but it is totally at odds with the face that he put on for the world to see.  How many people are hiding behind the jokes.  I know I have always found it easier to laugh at myself to hide my insecurities.  Just makes me think and really wonder what is going on in the head of those around me.

I also spent some time thinking about my journals that I have stacked up from years gone by.  For years I struggled with accepting who I was.  I don't mean weight wise.  I don't mean simply accepting the physical side of things.  Those things are important for this journey, but I mean who we are emotionally and mentally.     I struggled with certain aspects of my personal psyche.  I felt totally at odds about certain things....and yes, some intensely personal things.  In recent years I've looked deeply and said "Hey, this is me"  I've accepted versus fight.    I think part of this journey that I'm on is accept exactly who I am...the good, the bad and the ugly.  And lets be honest....who is to say that anything really is 'good, bad, and ugly'.  What is ugly to some may be good to another.  The important thing is to accept ourselves and live in such a way that is harmonious with who we really are.  (well.....and legal...ha ha ha).

So that said, I will be exercising tomorrow.  I will be eating right tomorrow.  (Although I haven't yet really decided what I'm eating at all....but it will be healthy!!)