Thursday, January 19, 2017

Mental weakness

Well.....another run in the books!   This one was, well....more rough than my run on Tuesday...the first in ages!

So where do I begin?  Rashes or mental weakness?  Maybe squirrels, hip, knee?  What about my toe?

Oh who knows...I guess I will dive right in!

I drug myself out of bed when it got light outside.   Or maybe a half hour or so after it got light...but that's still close enough to say when it got light!!!   I dressed and I didn't take a break to look at my dollhouse....time seems to disappear when that happens!!  Dressed and right out the door I went!!

I got my music on (old playlist that needs to be changed but I can't seem to get my iPhone or iPad to sync with iTunes to change my playlist...grrr) and I started mapmyfitness and I was off.   Ouch! Immediately the arthritic knee screamed out followed quickly by my hip!   Grrrr!   I didn't hesitate!  I know from experience that these will ease up....well,  the hip for sure.  The knee...well probably!   I'm proud of myself...and I'm happy that I kept going.  Those two aches and pains DID dissipate after a while!!!

I was about a half mile in when my body screamed loud enough to make me take a walk break....and thus the intervals began and continued throughout the rest of the run.  I wasn't happy with the walk breaks...I wanted to run the whole thing....that's what I was doing before ....but intervals are actually not a bad thing.  I can't expect to go back to where I was months ago after months of not running!

And then about a mile into the run it happened.....I have had this irrational fear of squirrels while I run for quite a while now.  I fear that a squirrel is going to attack me. Because you know....lots of people get attacked by squirrels every day you know!   Yes, I KNOW it's irrational....but all the same it's a fear!  It has been going on for a while and I've talked about it a few times on this blog. Most notably when I talked about the rogue squirrel.   I can usually squelch down the fear and ignore it...and honestly sometimes it doesn't even come up.  (And ironically enough while walking I have never encountered  this fear..in fact last night I was at the City Park walking with Jason and we saw a squirrel that looked to be eating a styrofoam container and I imagined ways to help it! Luckily it was  just licking some goody off the inside!)   As I run down a certain alley near my home, I always encounter a driveway filled with squirrels.  The homeowners at that house spread corn and nuts on the drive way for them. That is great.  They never seem to care when I run by.  Today was different.  Oh my word.  The chattered and yelled at my presence!  One even went up on the line above my head and ran with me chattering away, giving me a piece of his mind.  I was just sure that he or she was going to launch themselves at me at any moment!   I tell you...traumatic!!!

It was at probably at about a mile and a quarter thatmy neck started burning and stinging!!!!  Ouch!!!!!  I tried to pull my shirt collar away from my neck but nothing helped.   There was really nothing to do but continue running.   I got home and my neck was beat read!!!


I showered and looked at my neck afterward and noticed that I actually had little bumps...it wasn't just red!    An hour after I ran and it wasn't red everywhere but still dramatically red!!

Was it something that was already irritated and my sweat exacerbated it?   Was it a heat rash (my neck was open to the air and it was 40° outside)?   Maybe I ran through some pollen?   Who knows but it was uncomfortable!!!

And then at about a mile and a half I ran into (pun intended) the next issue!  My toe!  Eiiiyiiyii!!!  My toe!  Not the big toe...the second toe..the one next to the big one!  It started to hurt!   Nothing intense and worthy of stopping my run...but hurt!    When I got home I inspected the toe and it doesn't appear to be damaged or visibly hurt in anyway.   Could my toenail be irritating it?   A blister forming? (Yeah it didn't feel like a hot spot...but ya never know!).  Now that I think about it...that may have been the toe that had a black mark on it  while I was training for my aborted half marathon.  Who knows...but I kept trucking with my run.  I was a woman on a mission!!

I was interval running this whole time, through all of the obstacles.  I would run until I could run no more. Then I would stop and walk.  But as soon as I started walking I would pick some point up the road that would mark the place that I would run again...no questions asked.  When I got there I had to run.   This method works for me well...so I was utilizing it!!   I was kicking butt and taking no prisoners!!!   It was at about mile two when I once again reached that point.   The point that said 'I can't run another step or I will die'. So I started to slow it to a walk!   I looked ahead of me and marked my spot where I would once again begin running,  at the end of the alley..   In that split second I realized that the end of the alley I would encounter an incline...and I would be starting to run on an incline.   And the most miraculous thing occurred!!!   Seriously, it was a miracle....I kept running because I didn't want to run that hill.  Seconds earlier I had been  dying and needed to stop!!!!  All of a sudden I could run again!!!!  See miraculous!!!

But that little lesson showed me that this journey really is about mental fortitude and mental weakness!!!    I don't want the weakness!!!!!!

So all in all I did complete 2.35 miles.    I had planned on a trip least a 2 mile loop.  (One loop is 2.2 and the other one is about 2.4).  I had left any 'ads on miles' up to my discretion whilst running...and yes sometimes when a runnis fabulous I will make the extra loop.  Today wasn't fabulous!!!

It was painful and slow...but  when all said and done my pace was a wee bit faster than Tuesday....very little...but I'll take it!!!

I'm on my way back!!!

Last night we walked a few miles!  Felt good to stretch my legs!!!

And last but not least.   My Wednesday weigh in.  I lost .2. Not exactly a huge loss but I will accept it as such and say 'next week is my week!!!!

7 comments:

TheAgonyOfBeingFat said...

Congrats on finishing that run! I would have stopped it right away.

Good job in the .2. At least it's in the right direction

Shelley said...

Running is hard enough, mentally, and then when you add physical aches and pains, egad! Big props for making it through that run!

Rachel Smith said...

OH my goodness - talk about challenges! Ouch!

Lynn said...

Epic run! I don't think about squirrels but I do think about bears.

jen said...


Well done…you did it !!!

And .2 is down…all those little numbers add up to bigger ones :-)

Cathy said...

It's funny how your mind will tell you that you can't run another step and then suddenly you're still running. I think the saying that your body can go farther than your mind thinks you can is so true! Maybe instead of stopping when your mind says you have to and looking ahead to see where you're going to start running again, look ahead to a point and tell yourself you'll walk at that spot. That way you're training your mind to run farther than it thinks it can. Does that make sense?

Cathy said...

I just noticed this post was over a month ago . . . maybe you've conquered this by now. :-)