Friday, January 19, 2018

It’s only.....

I walked outside this morning to a balmy warm day. Seriously it was 30° at 6 o’clock! Comparatively speaking that is warm! We are supposed to have some really nice days this weekend with temperatures in the 50° zone.  That coupled with one or two weeks left on our year pass for the Shenandoah national Park, means that we are going to try to get out and hike!  (Yeah we will probably buy another pass next month...and we kicked ourselves last year for not paying the extra 25 for a complete national parks pass...so we will probably do that this year!). We got a hike in back on November 18 or 19th right before life went belly up for me and the weather turning brutally cold.  


I am actually very excited to get out and hike. For lots of reasons. I like that sense of peace that comes in the quiet wilderness.  I love that alone time with Jason. He actually mentioned the other day about how we have had some of the most incredible conversations in the quiet privacy of the woods. But I also like I look forward to the ache of muscles after a nice hike. Crossing my fingers that this weekend it will happen.

The scales not been friendly to be this week. I am showing up a bit last week. And that’s OK. On my last post I did mention that I hadn’t eaten any sweets and that my eating was spot on. A couple hours later I was struck with the realization that I was a liar. I totally forgot that one of my coworkers brought leftover cupcakes from her daughter’s birthday in for us to finish off. Yes I ate one. OK so maybe I wasn’t a liar… Just forgetful. 

My bike trainer...well I’m just not using it as much as I thought.  I’m just so tired and wiped out in the evenings...and I lack the time!!!  Grrrr!   I know...it’s all in my head.  I need to make it a priority and just say ‘no going to bed until it’s done!’   I have been continuing to climb the stairs at work though!!!!  And yes it’s getting easier!!



It’s just

A couple years ago when I was working at the bank we had customers and coworkers that were bringing in donuts, every day it seemed. There were excessive amounts of donuts at work. And yes I was indulging. My manager at the time and I were talking about weight loss and how these donuts were impeding any effort we were making in our weight loss efforts. During a conversation we decided to challenge ourselves. No donuts. We didn’t stay forever. We put it down as a very short term and very finite amount of time. We both had vacation scheduled five or six weeks later. So our reasoning was that it’s just six weeks, who can’t live without it for six weeks. So as the donuts rolled in the door she and I wouldn’t even look in the box. And yes we made it to six weeks and ironically enough broke the donut habit at the bank. I tried to find a blog post about it this morning but I have no clue when it happened and it wasn’t labeled for me to find easily, maybe I didn’t write aboutt it. Who knows.

At the beginning of this year Jason and I threw down the gauntlet for a weight loss challenge. I have 5 pounds to lose he has 8 pounds to lose for our challenge. Not a lot but still a challenge… Game on. I hate to lose as is evidenced by the running challenges we did two years ago, but this challenge is hard. Probably harder than that one. With our running challenge I literally just had to out run him… It didn’t matter if it took me double the time to run the same mileage… I was in control and I just had to put in the time. But weight loss has so many factors and while I am in control of what I eat and it’s just harder.   But seriously challenge on and I am 3 pounds closer to my 5 pound mark!

I have about 60 pounds that I want to lose. That’s a lot! It is also overwhelming. And never ending… At least it seems. And in the past I have talked about rewarding myself after 10 pounds and have tried to break it down into 10 pound increments. But I think this time around I’m going smaller. I kind of like the concept of it’s just five pounds. Historically speaking that could be only two or three weeks of weight-loss efforts. OK two or three weeks of anal weight loss effort… I’m not going at this like a Nazi this time around so maybe a little bit longer. But in the grand scheme of things it is only a short amount of time. Right now I’m focused on five. Five is a nice number… But maybe when I get to some kind of mileage number milestone my goal might be to pounds or 6 pounds. But my new theory is small because it’s easier to say no to the donuts, to the cake, to the tempting breakfast sandwich on the way to work, when I can tell myself it’s only until I lose the 5 pounds. I think The words it’s only are the liberating word, phrase actually that empowers us to make the right choice. It’s only…







Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Not giving up

Official weigh in day has arrived and I am up 1.2 from my weight last weekend.  I don’t really feel as if I’ve done worse than the week before...other than an Oreo cookie last night so I’m not sure what’s up with that!   I’m wondering if it’s my water consumption that had been less so maybe that’s water weight.  Who knows...but it has been tracked and noted.  

I have still continued to walk the stairs on my breaks.  I have ridden the bike trainer too.  So I’m not a total sluggard!   But still those short bursts of activity are not enough!  I know that!

So let’s talk about the ride!!!   I said 15 and Jason said aim for 10.    Let me tell you...long minutes.  My legs were fine.  It was my butt!!!  Those little bones in your butt cheeks to be exact!  Eiii yii yii!!!  I know...I’ll harden up to the road bike seat!!!  But for now...ouch!!! 

Ok ok ok...I didn’t ride last night...but I did Monday!  Last night I was in bed by 8:15 and asleep by 8:30!!!  Sleep won out!!

So here I am...still working on it all!!!  And I’m not giving up!!!


Monday, January 15, 2018

Flimsy and weak

Hi ho, hi ho...it’s odd to work I go!

Yes it’s Monday!  So let’s start with the weekendupdate  first....simply because it will make me smile the most!!!    After the weekend update we will get to the other stuff, aka my deep thoughts (or not so deep as is sometimes the case!)

The weekend

The weekend....ahhh what can I say???   The commute home on Friday evening was hellish...so Jason and I only had a few minutes together on Friday night. Booo!  We usually only get 30 -45 minutes together in the evening...but a bad/long commute cuts into that time.   Boy will we be happy to be living closer to our jobs and together so that we can have more time together during the week!   We grabbed food for dinner and got a smooch or two in and then parted ways happy that I’m the morning we would be together for 2 days and one night!!   We each had a relaxing morning...me with my kitty cat beside me.

And then we hooked up.   We headed north...and the wonderful balmy temperature from Thursday and Friday (50’s one day and upper 60’s the other) was a thing of the past.   We decided that it was a perfect weekend for antiquing and that’s just what we did.  Both Saturday and Sunday.   And we got some relaxing and tv watching while cuddling in to!!     It was a good weekend!  It was hard to say goodnight/goodbye on Sunday night and know that we will only see each other for a few minutes each day...the countdown until Saturday has already begun!

Oh and the last word about the weekend.  My cheat meal/treat was donuts this weekend and they were delicious!  I had it as a dessert after my meal on Saturday evening!  Delicious!  Probably more so than if I had eaten them every night of the week because I appreciated them more!

Oh I lied too...another word about the weekend....I had my first diet soda (any soda) since the end of 2017....it was just icky tasting!!!  I poured most of it down the drain!!!  It was just too sweet and just not good!   Can ones taste buds adjust that fast???

Weighing daily

I wrote last weekend about weighing daily. I talked about how I typically weigh myself  for my official weigh in on Wednesday’s to correspond with my friends official weight watcher weigh in day, but I talked about weighing on Saturday’s instead.   Well on Saturday I came up with the perfect solution for me...right now.   Wednesday’s will remain my official weigh in day.  But I will also be religiously weighing on Saturday’s.  My weight on Saturday is a check in...and a guide to my cheat day.  If I’ve gained on Saturday that by all means the cheat day needs to be cancelled!  Saturday’s weigh in rules the cheat day!

No excuses

So a few years ago I picked up a stair step/lateral trainer at a yard sale for 5 bucks.   


I had grand plans.  They never materialized.   When I took this current job I had grand plans to use it.  That never happened!

So last week I saw something and bought it.   Let me backtrack and say that many times over the years I have thought about buying a bike trainer.  A machine that I can set my bike in and ride inside.  But seriously...those things can get expensive!  So last week while I was Aldi’s (grocery store) and saw a trainer for $60 I was skeptical...but interested.  I decided to go with it!  I could always return it if it didn’t work.  We took it home and set it up.  But my bikes were all on storage and not with me where I lived.  So the trainer sat there unused in the corner.  Yesterday Jason and I went to my storage area and picked up my road bike.  And guess what? The trainer works!!!!


My plan is for 15 minutes a day.  Jason said even aim for 10.  

This is huge...number one.  Jason and I ride a lot in the summer.  If I am putting even any rotations on my legs I will fare much better when the weather changes and we can get back out there.  Secondly....when we ride i use my trek (hybrid/mountain bike) I put my lightspeed (road bike) on the trainer.  This bike has been my nemesis.  Seriously I wrote a blog post about it and titled the blog post the ‘elephant in the room’.   This bike hurts to ride.  It’s just different.  Muscles in my arms and my abs...ouch ouch ouch!!!  So hopefully by taking the 10-15 minutes (hopefully getting longer periods in as time goes by and as time permits) will help ‘harden me’ and maybe I can ride it this summer....after we move and I actually have time!!

So I have no excuse!!!  Well except time.  And well in all honesty that is flimsy and weak as an excuse!!

Convenience 

Convenience isn’t a handy thing when it comes to weight loss.  Not at all.   Why do I say that??  A couple of reasons.

First it’s cold.  It’s so convenient to go through a drive through and not get out of your warm toasty car.  But that convenience isn’t exactly healthy!!!

Secondly. Apple Pay (or the corresponding android pay from your phone app).  I go down to the cafeteria to eat my lunch at work.  It’s pretty easy to not be swayed to grab candy and snacks...I take my lunch and leave the money and credit card at my desk.  That makes it sooo easy to avoid the temptation.   But the cafeteria has happily announced (a while back) that they do apple pay!  Isn’t that awesome????? Seriously...my phone is always with me!!!  This is great right?????  No it’s not awesome!  Not in the slightest!   You see now that it has registered that they do apple pay, I sit down there eating my fruit and veggies and I think about what they have..delicious cookies, scrumptious desserts and even okey gooey candy bars. Before I brushed it off because I would have to go up and get some form of payment.   But now I sit there with my phone...which is a form of payment!  This is BAD!!!

Luckily for me...I am telling myself I’m dumb and don’t know how to use Apple Pay!!!  Yes I know I have a credit card linked and it’s all set up...but I have never technically used Apple Pay at the point of sale....so you see I don’t know how!!  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.   Is it a flimsy deterrent?  Yes...but that’s all I have at the moment!!!

Convenience...it comes at a price!!




Thursday, January 11, 2018

That was then. This is now!

Two weigh or not to weigh? That is the question. Years ago I would weigh myself every day. I would go to the bathroom, strip my clothes, weigh myself and then hop in the shower. Every day. When I moved, the scales were not put into the bathroom where I shower, for various reasons. Losing that daily habit was a detriment for me, I liked seeing the daily weight. I knew that some days weren’t going to show a loss and some days would,and I was ok with the daily fluctuations. It kept me on track.


With the scales located in a less conducive spot for weighing daily I went back down to one Weigh in a week… If that. The only thing that kept me getting on somewhat regularly was the fact that I share my weight on a weekly basis with a friend. She goes to weight watchers on Wednesdays so Wednesdays became my weigh in day. But that said, I have been going back-and-forth between Saturday and Wednesday for my official weigh-in day.  I kind of like the idea of being really good through the week weighing myself on Saturday morning and then having my cheat day on Saturday. (And I will discuss cheat days in a few minutes)I am still undecided, maybe I’ll just do both. But as I write it makes me go back to ponder the daily weigh-ins. I weighed in officially on Wednesday and found that I lost 3.2 pounds. The weekly weigh-in this week was nice because I saw that huge chunk of weight fall off. I can’t deny that I really like that. But I also like the daily accountability from daily weigh in. What a quandary. For now, because of the location of the scales it will probably remain once or twice a week. But when I move I’ll be having to ponder and come up with my answer of how often to weigh myself.


Cheat days. Years ago I used to do a cheat day/cheat meal. It worked for me. That was the day that I had pizza, not just one slice but as much as I wanted. That was the day that I had comfort foods that were high fat and high calorie. I really didn’t do desserts on that day, I never did desserts!!!  And typically my calorie content was still low. I am re-instituting the cheat day concept. The sweet treats are withheld for a cheat day. Jason and I both talked recently about how much the sweet treats had crept back into our life and we both agreed that we didn’t want to be totally anal about what we ate. So we are allowing ourselves to indulge that sweet tooth on the weekend. Thus the reemergence of a cheat day. It apparently worked last weekend… On Saturday I ate at Arby’s for lunch (downgraded my fries to a small), we had pizza and wings for dinner, and we each had a Cinnabon for dessert. That is not exactly a low caloric day. Yet I showed A loss!!!  Even better I don’t feel deprived. By allowing myself to have the sweet treat every once in a while (weekly), I can hopefully avoid the monster that I created when I never allowed myself to have any sweet goodness in my diet. What happened? I made my lifetime weight watcher goal went on vacation and allowed myself a sweet indulgence, it was wedding cake    and a good friend’s wedding. Who wouldn’t have indulged???  But that one piece a cake turned into donuts the next day, which turned into a cinnamon roll the following day which turned into cake, and a significant weight gain when I return from vacation. So my theory for now  is no deprivation… If I’m not depriving myself then theoretically I won’t lose control when I have my first bite after a long period of none!!!


My stair walking...I work on the 8th floor.  It takes me less then 5 minutes to climb all the flights.  I currently make it to about the fourth floor before I am starting to breath heavily.    The plan is to add floors..when I can make it to my floor without being out of breath, I will add flights..climb further and then walk back down to the floors I work on and have access to.  Currently I am doing it on my two breaks...but have definitely figured that eventually I can and will add morning arrival and lunch break climbs.  (Right now my legs are jelly after the second climb...so when that starts to ease I will add another climb!). Especially in the winter when outdoor walks are limited due to weather.  Maybe soon this elevator picture will be a thing of the past when I only take the steps!




I’m not tracking my food...and I waffle back and forth on the need to do so.   Thus far I’m just lowering portion sizes (for example small fries at Arby’s versus the large ) , trying to listen more to my body and what it needs and plain and simple just trying to eat ‘normally’.   So is the little voice that says to track just a leftover from years of having it beat into my head to track my food?  Or is it really necessary?  Right now it’s working for me to not track...but I know eventually I’ll have to make a decision!!!  And I know this is a huge departure for me to even contemplate losing weight and not tracking...I’ve babbled about tracking my food for years...hundreds of posts!!!   But that was then...this is now!!!


And that is my final word for the day...and maybe the theme for this whole post.  That was then...this is now.   What used to work may no longer be the best option for me in the here and now. Furthermore the past is the past.  Lamenting about my failures and the regained weight is not helping anything.  Adjust, adapt and move forward!!!

Tuesday, January 09, 2018

Slow as molasses

The weight comes on so fast!   Seriously...way fast!   But it doesn’t come off quite as fast.  It is infuriating!!!!  Utterly infuriating!!!!  If I can gain 5-10 pounds in a week why can’t I lose 5-10 pounds in a week???

I was 247 at the beginning of the year....the first weigh in of the new year.   I was sitting at 245 on Saturday and 245.4 this morning (Chinese last night = lots of sodium = water retention so I’m not worried about the .4 difference).   So I have made some progress...but seriously I want it to go off as fast as it came on!     

So I guess lots of water for me today to flush out that sodium laden meal!  (Speaking of water...I’m not where I want to be with water consumption and I’m adding flavor packs to some of my bottles.....but there has been no diet soda ..or any soda yet in 2018!)

Last week I kept my word.  On my breaks I rode the elevator down to the lobby...used the bathroom and then walked up the stairs to the floor I work on.    The first days I was breathing like a freight train after a few floors...and my lungs felt like they were going to explode by the time I got to my floor.  I kept going though...every day...every 15 minute break I climbed the steps!   My legs ache...I still breathe heavily...but I can see small changes in how I’m breathing and feeling when I get to the top of my climb...and I’m seeing that my breathing remains normal for higher in the building each time I do it!   I tell myself that this is good and will carry me well with hiking...it’s gotta help for those mountains and hilly trails!  

So yes I started my Monday of this week with a couple climbs on my breaks and I plan on continuing all week long!! And the weather is supposed to be in the 40’s today so I am hoping to walk around the lake on my lunch break!!  At least that’s my hope!!!   

So nothing fast and furious...but I’m still working toward making progress...albeit sloooooowly.








Friday, January 05, 2018

13 year blogiversary

Happy blogiversary!!!   12 Years! How crazy is that????  What a journey this has been!  I have definitely had some highs and I’ve definitely hit some lows!!!

Surprisingly this last year was not the year with the least amount of posts...but that brings me to some simple observations!

The year with the most posts:   2008
The year where I reached my weight watcher goal: 2008
The year with my least posts: 2012 followed closely by 2011 and then 2017
When did I gain weight:  2011 was the first small gain 2017 was the second

Hmmmm is there a correlation???  

Some lessons I’ve learned along the way....and by no means is this a comprehensive list.....there are way too many to post!!  And the list is in no particular order.

1.  Lose weight for yourself!  That is the only way to lose AND maintain the loss.
2.  Learn to love yourself....it doesn’t matter if you are 300 pounds or 100 pounds, love yourself for the awesome individual that you are!
3.  Find a partner in life that loves you in spite of your weight!  Someone that wants you to be healthy for your health but could care less if you have some fat rolls, or if the scales show some higher numbers!
4.  Deprivation of all ‘fun foods’ may be necessary at times in life, but in the long run will only lead to disaster because eventually you will cave and you will be sitting there shoveling junk food in like you’ve been starving for a lifetime.
5.  Your taste buds really do change and the healthier nutritious foods really do taste better....conversely when you start eating junk again they change back and you no longer crave the healthy stuff!
6. No matter how healthy you may be at any given time..the old habits are still buried deep and you will show up if you don’t keep up your gaurd. 
7. Exercise really isn’t the devil reincarnated!!  
8.  Find the activity you like doing and stick with it.  If it’s running...run.  If it’s Zumba...then Zumba.  Do what you enjoy...even if you only enjoy it sometimes because it’s a social hour (yes Zumba was a social hour....or rather pre Zumba and post Zumba times were a social hour for me)
9.  Start now....if you say ‘tomorrow’, tomorrow may never come!
10.  Start now....waiting until a certain time just gives permission to eat like a hog-head for the days leading up to the magical start date...and then you have a bigger hole to dig yourself out of!!!
11.   Don’t force yourself to eat a food you hate just because it’s ‘healthy’
12.  Reward yourself for your progress!  A lot of work goes into creating a healthy version of yourself!
13.  Food actually tastes better after you have ‘worked for it’.   For example after a long hike I enjoy dinner so much more...earn your food!
14.  I am the only one responsible for what goes into my mouth!  No one has ever hog tied me to a chair and forced me to eat a donut!   They may offer me a donut (insert any tempting non nutritious food in for the word donut) but they have never forced me to eat it...I am 100% in control!
15.  Arthritis pain really does ease up with exercise!  Yes it seems odd that it hurts so bad and someone tells you to go out and exercise...how because it’s painful...but it really does work!
16.  My most proud accomplishments are the ones in which I have pushed though and completed what I set out to do.
17.  The blood sweat and tears that go into this journey?  Totally worth it!


And I’m here to say that year 13 is going to be spectacular!!!!

Wednesday, January 03, 2018

Well then...

So I had made my plans to be healthy come the new year....I made them a week or so before New Years...and vowed to start on day one.    So how did that plan work out for me ?

The last few days of 2017, I ate like a wild boar that hadn’t seen food in three years!   I’m telling you...It was bad!   Cakes, donuts, candy, cookies and pie!  It was ugly!  In my mind I kept saying ‘one last hurrah before the serious healthy stuff begins’.   And that was the mistake. I should have started immediately and not thrown my hands in the air and commenced with a foodapalooza!  Still not convinced it was bad?   I ate and ate and ate.  Each night I would feel stuffed...I would have slight stomach aches.  But I trucked on...remember I’m an addict...food is my addiction!   Every night got worse.   And then finally...I hit rock bottom.   New Year’s Eve...we ate dinner.  I wasn’t overly hungry when I came to dinner time...but I ate and it was delicious!  I finished dinner and I made the comment that I was stuffed...that I felt like I needed to go for a long walk or run or something!   Yet a half hour later I ate a huge piece of cake...and shortly after that a donut....and right around midnight I found myself eating tortilla chips!   Is it wrong that while I ate all this I kept saying ‘this is the end...healthy tomorrow!’   We went to bed at around 12:30 or 1.  I was ready to start the new year with healthy eating!

I woke up at 3am...my stomach was in knots!  I remembered the feeling well.  I used to have stomach aches constantly way back in the day...once I got my eating under control the constant stomach aches disappeared....but it was back.  A trip to the bathroom and then I curled up in a ball and slept until 5....a trip to the bathroom and then some more sleep!  I was miserable until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon!  I know my body just had had enough of the gorge of food!!!

Maybe I had to hit rock bottom to see the light and finally be ready to roll into the new year and to form (re-form) the healthy habits!

So day one was an incredible success in terms of eating.   January first i couldn’t even think about food until about 8 PM...and I had a light sandwich!  

Yesterday January 2...I didn’t do too bad.  Not perfect but I’m happy with my choices and how I managed my food!  Even better...on my breaks I rode the elevator down to the lobby and I carted myself back up all the flights of stairs on foot!  It’s not a lot of exercise...but 8 flights of stairs twice a day is better than riding the elevator!!  I’m sticking with the 8 flights twice a day for a while.  I am seriously out of breath after the 8 flights.   When that gets easy I will add more floors just keep goinbg up and then walk back down until my whole break is steps!  And right now I’m leaving my lunch mostly intact.  As it gets easier I believe I may throw in the steps on my lunch...but right now I’m just proud to have done the steps twice!!  (The steps should hopefully help when we get back to hiking heavy...as soon as the weather breaks!)

Now I head into day three....I’m sure I will rock this day!!!