Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I faced the scales and what did I get????

YOu know...that is the worst part of this healthy lifestyle/weight loss journey. You can be doing sooo dang good, and then you have a day where you eat what you want which in itself is not all that bad. The bad part comes around the following days...because that eating has sparked memories in our body. Memories of all sorts of foods. ANd it seems like for me, once I get started, I hvae such a difficult time stopping the eating pattern. I know that this is true for most people also! ARRGGGHHHHHH

I haven't weighed myself yet this morning. I have tried to stay away from the scales for the last few days. It was actually becoming counter-productive. It was dragging me down. I"m really worried about what the results may be. I haven't been crazy out of control, however I know that I haven't eaten as WELL as I Could have. I know that the eating not quite as well as I could have has stemmed from two things. Number one, I weighed myself one day and the scales just jumped up with no cause....I fought the urge to become all fatalistic and just say screw it all. and Number two...I'm still down about a situation in my life. So I"m fighting emotional eating! Lovely! Ohhh and something else that is making my weight a bit skewed and off kilter I"m sure (or will be when I hop on the scales)...my body is all whacked out.....things are not being eliminated regularly.....and that can seriously affect weight. OH well.....we take the good and we take the bad. (dang, can I just keep singing the Facts of LIfe theme song? Remember that show???)

Well, TOdd and I were going to go for a walk this morning. HOwever, it's raining. AGAIN. I know I know I know. Come the middle of summer we will be BEGGING for rain, and I'll be writing stuff like, "If it would just rain!" I'm never happy..tee hee hee. OH yeah, and the cold. This is the coldest May. We are literally what...two weeks? from June and it's dang cold out there! What's up with this????? I want warm weather. I'm so tired of being cold. I'm cold all the time. 60 degree weather makes me cold. Heck, I"m cold in my house, I"m cold outside. I"m just dang cold! The hot weather has seemed to be the only time that my appendages (fingers and toes especially) are not icicles! That is the only negative about losing weight that I have found. (I lost weight and now I"m ALWAYS cold. I've talked to a few other people that have also experienced this phenominan) Anyway, that long ramble to say that I guess I"ll have to ride the exercise bike.

OK, I just did it. I went to weigh myself. I didn't want to leave myself hanging about my weight (tee hee hee) Last Teusday I weighed in at 180.8 on my home scales. ~which equated to 179.8 on the weight watchers scales~~ This morning......183.8. That is a three pound gain! THREE FREAKIN POUNDS! What is it about the 180 pound barrier. I can get myself to 180 point...briefly...and then my weight just pops back up. Absolutely devastating to my morale.

Which brings me to my next subject. I have been debating about going to my meeting tonight. My first debate was because of all the hours that I"m working this week....it's a crazy week at work. MF do overtime? RARE RARE RARE...but not this week! we are talking like LOTS of hours extra..first to get me to a fulltime status (I only work part time normally) and then tons more to push me into the overtime bracket. Means a nice paycheck...but it means that MF's life is crazy. I"m used to having all sorts of time to do things around the house and to help my husband. ANd it does take time to log the mileage that I"ve been putting up on my exercise log. SO I debated about going from that standpoint....timewise. BUT the main thing is the weight. I honestly don't want to go....I'm disgusted.


Deborah said...

Hey, girl, don't beat yourself up with the weight fluctuation. We all face it and have to keep telling ourselves that it is just a minor set back and things will get better. I have those times when those food memories get sparked too and all I have to do is pick up a picture of me when I started and get sick to my stomach and get back on track.

For some reason my weight seems to stall with numbers ending in 5. And I'm at one of those right now. Maybe staying away from those scales except on weigh-in days will help.

Alli said...

I can soooo relate to this post. I ate horribly this weekend. I was not only in a wedding but that food totally triggered a downward spiral. Its so true bad food beggets bad food... its like opening a book that you have read along time ago and every chapter the memories start to come back. It was like the world tour of food this weekend =).
I can understand the not wanting to go to WW... I think you are the one who has to decide if going will be more beneficial or hurtful for you this week. Sometimes I go and it is the kick in the pants I need even when I dread going... and other times its like the trigger into a deep pit of food and laziness when i go and its not what I want to see. Best of luck!!