Thursday, June 10, 2010

I'm hanging in there. I've kept my eating under control the last few days....keeping it within my daily points allotment and NOT eating my flex points, which sadly enough for me has to be the case. We'll see if I get any results on the scales....

Last night made a Crustless Banana Cream Pie....it was quite tasty!

Other than that....life is just kickin' me right now. I'm gonna do everything to keep my eating under control and not eat my sorrows away. This morning I was feeling REALLY down....I had my breakfast (smoothie and a small piece of banana bread). I struggled becuase I was just down and lets face it, I'm a food addict...I eat for every emotion. BUT, I didn't do it this morning. I didn't want to add self disgust to my feelings. I'm gonna win this war with my addiction...just to spite of the beatin' that life is giving me right now.

Today is just a day to go home, crawl into bed and just cry until there is nothing left.....alas, 5 more hours of work....and then off to cat sit for a bit.....I've got hours before I'll see my bed.

8 comments:

Allan said...

Be Strong !!!!

Mom to the Fourth Power said...

Stay away from that bed! Hang in there. Sometimes the thoughts and feelings that bring us down aren't facts. The fact is... you are of priceless worth and value and you deserve to feel joy. Don't give in to those negative thoughts!! I have spent two years crawling back into bed in the mornings and crying over my sorrows. No more!! There is too much joy in life to be down. Seize the day!!

~Margene
http://www.believingitspossible.blogspot.com/

Splurgie said...

Sounds like there is a lot going on. Your resolve to keep your food on track sounds strong. No reason to feel "self disgust." Hang in there!

Midori Mighty Warrior said...

Hi, I totally understand what you're going through. I am going through feeling the same way right now. It's a drag and so darned hard.

Please know that your post makes me feel better because I don't feel so isolated while taking this journey to get rid of a lot of weight and change the way that I eat on a permanent basis. I am a food addict as well and I'm also on Weight Watchers :) Thank you.

Seth said...

It's difficult sometimes....stick with it Mary Fran!

Blue~ said...

I feel a long comment coming on -- get coffee - feets up...or alternatively press 'delete'...

You talked a post or two back about your 'mini me'...The trouble with 'mini me's' is that they often figure really large and its hard to counter the thoughts they stick in our heads. Wondered if rethinking it a bit might help.

We actually have three 'sides' to what makes us who we are. We have the 'me' that is visible to everyone - our external 'us' -- but that is not really us at all - we are somewhere inside, just being housed by our outsides. Our outside is just a reflection of what is going on inside.

Then we have the 'me' that is in our head. This is the part of us that thinks it knows whats best for us, it is the part that makes us think, that has all the answers (regardless of whether they are right or wrong)...it is our conscious mind. The know it all. it is where we find our motivation, and our will power. It is also where we find our self destructive thinking, where we use our mighty will power to do what we want when we want it. We can direct it to do just whatever we want, it is our own best thinking.

Then there is the third part of our character, that is the better part. It resides somewhere different, and it instinctively knows what is right and wrong, good and bad, it knows the next right thing to do. It is never critical, it never puts us down, it is in short our better side. It is our conscience.

The reason we struggle, is that we allow that part that is our will, our conscious thought to dominate. We stop listening to our better part - that instinctively knows what is the right thing to do, and instead we listen to that part in our head, our 'mini me' if you will, and give it free reign to misapply our will power just where and when it wants.

The answer is to listen to the other part -- never easy - but nobody said it was. If we listen to that part of us that wants what is best for us, and kick our own best thinking into touch...then Mini-me's lose a lot of their power over us.

We have boundless will power, even when we think we have none, our mistake is to misapply it. We use it, on instuction from 'Mini-me' to do what we want, instead of what we need.

Start listening to that part of you that knows what is best - dont just listen, act on what it is telling you. Use that boundless will power to do what you need, instead of what you want. Mini-me has been working hard and needs a holiday.

Lanine said...

Bread is my weakness. We were driving in the car yesterday-passing the homemade bread store. My daughter looked at me and said..I wish the bread store didn't sell bread. I automatically knew what she meant. Everything in there is so good we can't even walk in the door.

No matter how small you had a victory which is awesome.

spunkysuzi said...

This journey to health can be very hard!! However, i know you are a strong person who never gives up.
And please know that we all go through this from time to time. "hugs"