Thursday, September 22, 2011

the will

Yes, i'm a total food addict...it's ALWAYS my first thought. And the problem with a food addiction. I acn't just remove myself from situations where I will be confronted with my addiction (ie remove myself from bars if i'm an alcoholic, or whatever) I have to confront my addiction each and every day.




I was watching the biggest loser this morning... (taped it from Tuesday night...season opener) .and they said something about how they wanted to lose because they wanted to LIVE. And it hit me....that's my problem. The first time around, yeah, I had lots of reasons to lose. To try to win something back. (that didn't work) To be healthy to have a baby (still childless) But mainly because I knew that my weight was going to kill me if I didn't do anything about it and more than anything I wanted to live. I've been depressed and while I'm not bad enough to even consider doing something like that ....I don't have a drive, a will to live.  I'm just sitting  back and letting life wash over me and what happens happens. That is the crux of the problem........


7 comments:

bbubblyb said...

I know I've said it before but I know from my own experience that therapy does help. It's what has gotten me through tough things. You sound depressed MaryFran and I care about you and miss when you aren't around here. Maybe it's time to consider something other than your own will and start leaning on others to help you and maybe even medication if it will help. I know lately I've felt I needed more than what I could give myself. *big hug*

PS you know we aren't very far apart, I'd love to have lunch sometime.

Darcy said...

I agree with what ^^^she^^^ said. You need to see someone. You've been depressed quite a while now and I haven't seen any real evidence of you being able to pull yourself out of it. You are such a great person and you are letting life happen to you instead of taking control of it. I want so much more than that for you and I want you to feel like you deserve more. Hugs.

F. McButter Pants said...

I totally agree with Dawn. Life is really great! You should be enjoying it. Asking for help is never a bad things. I think about you often and hope that you are feeling better soon.

timothy said...

1st stop sitting and letting life wash over you get busy and get moving tell yourself every day how great life is keep telling yourself the lie till it becomes the truth! you'll get through this i KNOW you will and life will be good again. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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