Thursday, September 15, 2011

A little bit of everything all rolled into one

Didn't make it to weight watchers this morning.  Yeah, bad me.  I'm taking last weeks number and my goal is to be lower than that next week. (which will be hard because I'm assuming that this week would have been higher, so I will have to recoup this last weeks gain, whatever it is/was). So why didn't I go?????   Honestly, I know that in my emotional state, if I would have gone in there and seen a higher number, I probably would have just sat down on the floor and cried. Am I up.  I would wager a HUGE bet yes.  Can I deal with that too right now?  NO.  I know it.  So I just avoided.  Is that the best course of action to avoid?  Probably not.  Am I totally avoiding the situation?  NO.  I've got a goal in my head and I'm going to work toward it.  I'm just avoiding the scale.  (oh and well, I just didn't have the energy to actually get up, get dressed and drive into town....I did all that at the very last second before having to go to work).

Yesterdays eating...ok, lunch was a bit much. I forgot to eat breakfast.... Went to a local Italian eatery for lunch and had  Baked ziti, salad and garlic bread. The owner also made us some kind of fried doughy dessert, which was yummy.  I was so full.   Dinner was late and I had a turkey burger on a bun and some mac-n-cheese.  For dessert I had some no sugar added, low fat ice cream (peanut butter ripple...yum....weis brand)

I made it to zumba.  My back was sore when it was over.  I'm going to continue to go.   I can take it slow.  It's just tired and slightly achy..nothing major.

I wish this funk would just leave.  I don't now what to do....where to turn.  I know somethings in my life have to change..but I'm clueless about how to enact the changes that I need (I'm not in control of some of the changes) and the alternative if those changes are not made is just as abhorrent.