Monday, June 25, 2012

What to write

It was recently brought to my attention that I haven't been writing much on my blog.  I've thought about it a few times.  I've actually even pulled up blogger to do so.  But then I sit and stare at the empty screen and I ponder what to write.  What can I write that won't be a repeat of what I've been writing for years. "I'm going to get on track...today is a new day....I'm going to beat this weight loss thing!"   Seriously....I'm tired of writing that.  I'm tired of the trite posts.  I've always prided myself in being blunt and raw about this journey.  While I've felt those things when I've written them, I just can't say them again......I want it....but even I'm bored with hearing it.  So what to write? 

Can I write that I'm failing miserably at this thing called weight loss?   Or should I write that I feel like an utter failure at this thing called life.  You see, this weight loss thing is just indicative of how I feel like my life is right now.  I feel like it's all falling down around my ears...all aspects of my life.  I have tried and tried for years to pick up the pieces and clutch them to my chest and pretend that i had it under control.  But I can't pretend anymore.The pieces are falling out of my grasp almost as fast (maybe faster) than I can pick them up.  I'm sinking.

I've tried to focus on the weight thing...because that's something that I can control somewhat.  And I'm not going to give up.  But you know what?  It just feels hopeless.


6 comments:

A Place to be Me said...

Aw MF this breaks my heart! I'm sorry you're feeling down and discouraged...it's such a hard journey! Maybe it's time to consider changing things up somehow?

I really hope you feel better about it all soon :( In the meantime, hang in there!!

bbubblyb said...

MaryFran I'm sorry you are feeling so down. My suggestion is to get out with friends or family, just go have some fun or at least try to. When I feel down and out others usually always help pick me back up. Far to often I isolate instead of reaching out, so reach out. I'm home this weekend if you wanted to meet up :) *hugs*

E. Jane said...

So sorry, Mary Fran. It seems that it is a time to give yourself permission to not have to think about it for at least a little while. Diet fatigue is a real thing, and it's also called burn-out. Take care of yourself. Those of us who struggle with weight know what it's all about.

timothy said...

i'm so sorry to hear that darlin, but you know what when you just let it go and drop those peices then you can truly start over and build anew. do what you have to do for you and to hell with everything else! xoxoxoxoxo

Darcy said...

Just set it aside for a while, MF. Focus on something else. I've told you all along that you are awesome and worthwhile just the way you are. Your value is not dependent on your weight. I'm not saying go in the other direction and just go wild with eating...but it's ok to shift your attention. Maybe try learning a new skill. I wish I had the answers. I totally understand where you are coming from and know how hard it is to let yourself off the hook. Love you.

Patrick said...

Sorry to hear life is less than in control for you right now. Life isn't always fun, isn't always enjoyable to manage through. It is these times when we must seek the help of those we love & trust to turn things around. We are not alone in this world, we owe it to ourselves to share and enlist the help of others when we need it. Someday, they will need it and we will be there for them.

Best wishes!

-Patrick
http://responsibility199.wordpress.com