I read a post this morning by Tim. (sorry, I haven't figured out how to put in links on the blogger app on my cell phone....so timothology.blogspot.com) In this post he wrote about binges. I agreed with him whole heartedly when I said that my binges are much more rare and that when I have them they are not as 'bad' as they used to be, relatively speaking at least. (I binge on less caloric rich foods and usually not as much). So imagine my surprise when just a few short hours later I found myself in the kitchen BINGING.
I had planned out my food for the day. I was ok with what I had planned, all was right in my world. It came time for lunch and I went to the kitchen to eat. I ate part of what I had planned and then saw the bread. I WANTED bread. I mentally calculated and figured that I could 'afford' a single slice of butter bread. I made it and ate it. I opened the fridge to get out the stuff for the rest of my lunch. And then I saw the jelly. Now I have jelly in my fridge pretty much all the time. Usually it is raspberry jam but every once in a while I open a jar of strawberry jam. Strawberry jelly is a treat. I usually only make one or two batches of strawberry but make batch after batch of raspberry. Strawberry jelly/jam. YUM. I couldn't get it out of my mind (granted I really didn't try to much). I made another slice of butter bread and added some strawberry jelly. Ohhh it was SCRUMPTIOUS! I was eating and I KNEW I was going to have more. I wanted it. I literally thought about it in my head. I was ready to throw in the towel for the day over some more jelly bread! I wanted it that bad. Ohhh I tried to justify it by saying that I did burn 3500 calories yesterday (yeah yeah yeah, that was yesterday and thus doesn't count for today....but in the midst of a binge, any justification works!) Something propelled me to wash the dishes before I made my next jelly sandwich. I stood at the sink washing dishes and I litearlly said "I don't care....I'll take a gain this week because by golly I want that jelly sandwich!" But then something happened. I thought about all the hard work I've put in. I thought about all the sweat. I thought about all the mornings when I wake up so stiff that I just want to goan and moan (ha ha ha, oh wait, I DO moan and groan). I thought about how far I've come and I knew that I didn't want to do it. Furthermore, I realized that the reason that I was ready to throw up my hands with a binge was that I just really did not want to eat what I had planned. I knew that if I was going to stop the binge that the only thing that would help me was to find something that would satisfy me, inside and out. I opened the fridge and just happened to notice that I had a bit of lettuce and salad fixings left. Peace settled over me and I was fine. I made my salad. I ate my salad and I'm sufficiently full and satisfied.
So I was honest. I immediately went onto my food journal and deleted the offending foods and put in the salad and the bread, butter and jelly that I ate (thank heavens I only had two slices of bread). I'm only 100 calories over for my day (including dinner). I caught the binge in time. I reigned it in. I binged, but I won in the long run!
And yes...that moaning and groaning....yeah, it happened this morning. 4 plus hours of exercise threw my body into an achy mess! I'm good now and I'm set to walk (in the rain...neither rain sleet snow or whatever will keep us from our walks. ha ha ha....ok, so sometimes it does) after work with Sherry.
My other big project. I have been saying for quite some time that I need to work on my upper body strength. Todd and I have a weight machine on our screened in porch (we got it free a year or so ago....a guy that lives near my work was cleaning out his garage to be able to bring another corvette to his house...yeah, he's got three here now...but owns something like 5 of them....OLD ones and new ones....I drool over the 57!...anyway...he was getting rid of it....for free. We took it!). SOOOOO I'm going to go out and clean it up (it's dusty and dirty from disuse) and start using it! Hold me to it!