Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Love should not equal food

I show love with food.  I have found myself doing this numerous times. When we want to celebrate, we go out to eat.  When we are sad, we go out to eat.   When we are upset….tired….wired….you name it.  When I want to do something nice for my husband I make him his favorite muffins or desserts. I show and accept love and food is the most common medium.   It is a learned behavior.  I remember as a child eating an M&M as a reward when I got my practice spelling words right.  I can’t rightly say that this is something that my parents did…but I’m sure I learned the behavior somewhere.   We always soothed and celebrated with food. That’s the way we were. My grandmother always had favorite soups on the stove when we showed up for vacations. My mom always made my brothers favorite cake and bought his favorite tasty cakes when they would visit.   It’s love. Plain and simple, love.
So Todd and I have been in a rough patch.  We are valiantly working on things and trying to get back to a good place.  My first thought was to go back to what worked for us way back when.    What worked for us?   Our relationship was centered around food.  We ate…..a lot!  We ate well and we ate often.  Now I’m not saying that we don’t eat.  I’m not saying that we don’t eat some scrumptious food.  I’m just saying that we’ve tried to take the focus away from food.  So as I’ve tried to put us back to a better place, it’s been my first inclination to show love with food.  I have been maintaining…but it’s a struggle because I’m wanting to medicate myself with food and at the same time I’m wanting to show love and recreate our love with food.   A nightmare!

Got to stop this trend!!!


*A Strong New Me* said...

I can understand what you are saying. When I am stressed out, I want to eat. When I am celebrating, I want to eat! Every emotion on the spectrum, I want to eat. It's hard to break that emotional connection with food, or at least tame it to a moderate level.

JenB said...

... I agree absolutely. So many of my dates with hubby are centered on food (either going out to eat, or to the movies where I MUST have popcorn and candy). I love to bake for my boys. They love brownies and cookies, my youngest just asked when I am making cinnamon rolls again. I know there are other ways to connect and show love, but food is easy and effective ... just not necessarily healthy!