Friday, March 01, 2013

Never say never

This morning I woke up and did my typical morning routine.  I laid in bed and checked my mail.  Hey, I like my lazy morning wake-ups!   My inbox contained an email that immediately caught my interest.  It was from "Friend Extraordinaire"  (I'm naming her that because I've never really asked her permission to use her name and stories in my blog....)  I immediately wrote a long arse response to her (on my iphone too boot, which tells you how important it was to me, long responses are usually written on a computer).  The email exchange went like this.....(if you don't want to be bored with reading the email exchange, just skip the italicized words.......I won't cry too hard about you skipping my well thought out response....but promise you that it the big news is at the end!

To MaryFran 
......I'm bringing my running clothes but not hopeful..
I'm really not feeling ready for this run., My body doesn't seem to be getting used to the running. What is wrong with me. I'm pity partying tonight. I know I'm working hard, I want to see major results. Help!
                                             from friend extraordinaire

That email obviously demanded an immediate response.  So respond I did.....I poured my heart and feelings into the email....

To Friend Extraordinaire,

I hear you....I'm still struggling with this congestion...and the war is going on in my mind....run or not run. I know that a big part of my indecision is not the congestion/cold/sinus issues. A big part is fear because I know that today is a huge run...as you said, a rite of passage. I don't think our bodies are going to feel 'used to' running yet. We are continually pushing ourselves ...this program keeps us pressing forward.

My thought is this...when we first started we struggled with that 1.5 minute run. I remember that first time we ran together and we hit our first 3 minute run....we gasped and moaned and lamented about it ever being over....yet just a few short weeks we have accomplished 8 minute long runs. We have followed the program....and it hasn't let us down yet had it???! So lets have faith that it won't let us down today either!!

One more thought on our bodies getting used to running....we've only been at this five weeks....right now our bodies are simply trying to adjust to actually jogging....as the muscles and stamina builds we will gradually grow more comfortable.  

That all said, running may not be for you, me or us. I AM however going to see this c25k program to completion. I've started it three times before. Three times I quit. I quit when it got rough...when my body ached...when the weather got icky...etc. I need to finish it , get to that point that I really can run....just pop some headphones on and run without waiting for a walk/run cue and THEN decide about running as a hobby/form of exercise.

Pity parties allowed on occasion!!! Just don't let your pity party derail you. Major results ARE coming down our lane. We can't see them yet...but they will soon be knocking on our doorstep....we are doing everything right...there is no reason why major results will not come a knocking!!! Well there is ONE reason....and that's if we give up!

You've got this girl!! I'm attempting my run at roughly 8AM...ill let you know how it goes. I will be crossing my fingers and praying that you smash your run...and that no matter what happens on either of our runs, that we both accept that we are doing it (and that we did a hell of a lot more than we ever could have dreamed of back in January) and congratulate ourselves for our effort!!
                                              MaryFran

Yeah, I think that was an inspired email myself!  So I wrote the email, laid around for a few more minutes and then got out of bed.  And it hit me....I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks.  This sinus issue....really was probably now a full fledged cold.  The constant war in my head started....but then I realized that it was all excuses.  You can exercise with a cold.  I have in the past.  It's not a deal breaker.  What was the deal breaker was the fact that I wasn't sure I could do it. I mean holy heck, I was scheduled to run for 20 minutes straight! I battled with these thoughts RIGHT AFTER I wrote that email.  I felt two faced.  What a hypocrite!   Sooo, I threw on my exercise clothes....shoved a wad of tissues into the pocket of my outer layer and headed out.

~~ The warm up walk was fine....a little cold around my neck as today I didn't wear a hooded sweatshirt ...that hood really helps keep the draft out of your shirt!
Mid run

~ The little voice in my head (AKA known as the C25K app on my phone) told me to run and I started.  The first five minutes were hellish.  My thigh muscles were screaming in freakish agony as I propelled myself forward.
~  Round about 5 minutes I was in my groove and felt pretty good.  My legs stopped hurting and I was rockin' in (as much as I can in my ungraceful run...)

~I made a mistake and looked at the timer at 10 minutes and I was filled with utter self doubt.  Seriously?  I had to run for 10 more minutes!  I couldn't do that.  I'm sick as a dog, hacking up a lung (ok, it's actually still the sinus gunk that my cough is trying to get out of my body and not from my lungs), my nose is running like a sieve.....)and I'm out here in the cold weather RUNNING?   What am I thinking?   I wanted to walk.  I soooo wanted to walk.  But I didn't.  I kept going.
~ Round about minute 15, I started to believe that I was really going to do it.
~ Right around minute 18 1/2 I started to cry.  No, not in pain and misery.....but because I thought it wasn't possible.  I can't remember EVER in my life running for 20 minutes straight.  Seriously...ME?????  RUNNING????

I DID IT!  Not impressed yet???  I did it while I am sick!!!!   I set my mind to it and I did it.   Yes, I know not to push it too much while sick.  I'm not foolhardy!  They actually say exercise with a cold isn't a no no so I'm good!

update......I just got an update....my friend extraordinare has also completed her dreaded week 5 day three 20 minute run today!!!!!   GO SHERRY!!!!